I don't blame you for feeling that way at all...but (sm)
Posted By: Sammy on 2007-05-30
In Reply to: She's 64, so close to his age. She is a widow whose late husband... SM - QALady
I really think if you say anything it is just going to put a wedge between you and your dad and your new *relative*. It stinks though, I agree with you!
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I don't blame you (sm)
One bit for being mad. I would be too. It definitely doesn't seem fair. I mean, if this is common practice, you could spill coffee on your carpet and get all new. It really doesn't make sense.
By the way, I hope everything works out for you, and I'm very sorry about the trouble you are having. It sounds like a matter of insurance companies being bombarded with claims due to mass damage in your area, so they are getting stingy with their pay outs. Definitely not fair. Is the state isnurance commissioner doing anything to help?
Please don't blame yourself. (sm)
I do not know if this has anything to do with your situation, but I thought I would share.
My mother experienced a similar situation in regards to my oldest sister (5 other siblings). The counselor told my parents that my sister was attention-seeking. She was in her 30s and married with children when they sought counselling together. She is now in her late 60s. Our mother is still living and in her late 80s, and my sister still has her moments.
"Birth order effect" is very interesting:
1st born must cope with the loss of attention to 2nd born.
2nd born must constantly cope with the attention-seeking 1st born.
3rd born must cope with a perfectionist 2nd born, and it keeps going on.
Our 38-year-old daughter also has her moments, but overall we have a very good mother/daughter relationship.
My opinion only, but I think a daughter's personality can be affected by the relationship with their dad. My husband was diagnosed with a passive-aggressive personality, and I do think our daughter was affected by his personality. But, instead of arguing with her, which is a trait of a PA personality seeking attention, I try to avoid conflict and praise her often, as she can be kind and loving, and God has been blessed her with many talents.
May God bless you and your daughter to experience a more loving relationship is my prayer.
I don't blame you
I saw one of those in my flower bed one time and almost had a heart attack. 
I do not blame you.
Maybe couples should fill out questionnaires before getting married that include questions about vacations as well as the usual concerns.
Oh yeah, I guess they probably cover that if you use one of those on-line dating services like e-harmony.
I don't blame you....
With all of that happening...your daughter's safety is #1. Even though she got suspended. I would still have her carry something like the pepper spray again for her protection just in case, but tell her to be extremely discrete about it and not show or tell anyone about it, not even her friends. You can never be too protective when it comes to your children, in my opinion. I would ask the people you are meeting with if it was their daughter what would they do? If your daughter is attacked, she may be scarred emotionally/mentally for the rest of her life. I have 4 of my own, and I would do anything to protect them. Your a good parent; I would have done the same thing.
I don't blame the mom
13 years old is too young to have a boyfriend.
I don't blame you for being really sm
mad and I sure wouldn't have anything to do with her anymore, but not everybody has a work ethic like that. My hubby has been doing work for friends for probably close to 40 years and WOULD NEVER EVER do something like that. Actually he underbids himself alot and is happy to do it for people What goes around comes around and it has for us in many many instances when we were on the end needing help.
Don't let this color your faith in people. You just had a bad experience like we all have had at one time or another for one reason or another. If it hadn't been this it would have been something else with the same people. It just took 7 years but it would have happened!
I don't blame you~
How aggravating that must be.. I hate dealing with people over the phone like that.. It stresses me to no end & I can't even work some days with that kind of junk.. hoping you are having a better day by now..
please don't blame his heritage...this could have--sm
been anyone from anywhere. He was more american than he was korean and I really don't think his nationality had anything to do with his emotional state. I am not defending him or what he did, but please don't make more of it than what it is. There is going to be enough anger about all of this when the shock wears off and it just does not need to become a race thing, too. JMO
Clearly to blame for what? In your mind. nm
.
well i always blame work!
so they can't find out a lied because i work at home !! :)
I do get what you are saying, but if they are my friends I ESPECIALLY wouldn't want to tell them i dont feel like hanging out! Maybe that's part of my immaturity and im on the road to working on that :)
Really can't blame the govt on this one - sm
We all take responsibility for ourselves.
Let's talk about the decisions we make and advertising.
Some people see an ad for some kind of "miracle" weight loss drug. We know it isn't going to work the way the ad says it will but... still, some people buy it, the company makes big money.
Same thing with some of these shady lenders. They may be sitting on a lot of foreclosures at a time but they will STILL make a lot of money off of the rest of the people.
Now lets talk credit cards.
Same thing here. I have a Discover card that I had paid off about 2 years ago. I still had a sizable balance on another card but my plan was to close the Discover and keep the other and pay it off too.
When I called Discover to close my account after I had paid it off, they wanted to keep me of course so they offered me a fixed rate of 3.99% for three years on any balance transfers, no transfer fees, etc.
Okay. I kept the Discover, transferred the balance and closed the other card. I am now 2 months from having it paid off again but....... even though I have requested numerous times that they NOT raise my available credit, they keep doing it. My available credit is now up to $14,000.00.
Excuse me but I am NOT that stupid as to charge that much on a credit card, no matter what the interest rate is but..... Some people do it and end up in big trouble.
The trick of it is that people need to be smarter than that. It's OUR money, OUR risk. Card companies don't give a rip if they over extend credit to people. They will find a way to squeeze the money out of them.
I don't blame the stores at all
Its a vicious circle for everyone, and everyone is loosing money. The stores because people won't buy what they used to and the consumer because they have to pay so much more for what they do get!!!
I'm sorry for your friend, but you can't blame the dr.
My mother had the exact same ailments - diabetes that she did not control as well as she should that eventually led to kidney failure, liver failure and death. Mom was always concerned about what other people thought, yet she never failed to ask questions of her physicians. If she didn't get an answer that made sense to her, she continued to ask. She was very stoic so sometimes the drs wouldn't take her as seriously as they needed to take her and there were several instances where something went on waaay too long because Mom wasn't kicking and screaming about it.
Be that as it may, it is YOUR health. If you don't understand something, it is YOUR responsibility to ask questions until you do. It doesn't and shouldn't matter if the doctor is English speaking or not. If you don't understand something, ask. You are your own best advocate for your health.
She needs to take someone with her to every appointment from now on. I hope she gets the kidney she needs.
I don't blame you, you did the right thing.
If you're taking care of them, they're fine at their own house. The owners should understand that. If they can afford to take all of these trips, they can afford to board them. It's not your responsibility to provide them with dogsitting service whenever they want to go somewhere. My sister has two very big, very obnoxious German Shepherds. They are bullies and their behavior isawful, one even flunked out of obedience school. She has asked if they could come to my house when she has went on a trip and I've had to say no. I have 2 Rottweilers, but they are quiet and calm in the house. I also have a cat who co-exists with my dogs just fine. My sister had the nerve to say "but they don't like cats, so you'd probably have to lock him up somwhere while they were here!" WHAT??? I don't feel bad about saying no and you shouldn't either.
If it were me, I'd totally blame my husband.
You mention in your post your BIL had a trailer stolen and a vehicle broken into at his house so that should have been reason enough to get a little energy up to take them off the trailer. A tough lesson learned, yes, but it's only 1700 dollars. Did you happen to see the other post above where a woman is in danger of losing her house?
I don't blame you. Have you checked zillow.com
or had an appraisal lately? Not that it matters - but would be something to shove at them if they get pushy - unless of course it comes in lower than you want. If you don't NEED to sell - hang on to it if at all possible. We sold our land 5 years ago and wish we would have held onto it - it almost never depreciates!! Best of luck to ya
blame to person who put it out there and didn't keep an eye on it. can't sm
blame the lady for buying it at the price the daughter stated whether she knew what it was or didn't know what it was. fancy cars mean nothing these days. i pay more for a nonfancy car than most pay for a fancy car because i don't have good credit so it cost me twice as much. why are you saying the person who bought it is a rotten person? she gave the price that was asked for it. why lay the blame on her? would you not have done the same thing. garage salers and buyers are out for deals period. why would she not high tail it out of the neighborhood to fly to more garage sales if that was what she was out shopping for that day? what would you had done had you caught up with her? asked her to give it back? that would be rotten in itself. she got a deal. get over it. geez! it isn't the poor lady's fault and doesn't make her rotten.
I am asking in all honesty to not blame the stores
My family is in the grocery business, and like jss said, everything is going up. I don't believe the stores are trying to make a profit off of the bad economy, but groceries have to be trucked in (paying the drivers, the gas, the workers that package the items, etc.). Outrageous prices are eveywhere. My father refused to order red peppers due to the cost and the fact that he knew his customers would not pay for them. It works both ways.
Honestly I don't blame you for macing
the dog if it's owner isn't going to be responsible enough to keep the dog on his/her property. Have you contacted the owner of the dog and complained? My husband is a K9 officer and he gets these calls ALOT and it ain't all pitbull calls, it is just dogs in general roaming around in other people's yard and not on their own property. The mace won't kill a dog, but it sure does hurt really bad and makes the dog think twice about approaching you.
I would not blame granny. She tried to get daughter
NM
I don't blame you for not wanting a woman
I am a massage therapist (not practicing right now), and I know how it can affect guys (when doing normal professional work ... nothing funky). - I doubt your hubby would be too keen on a male working on him though. : )
Maybe you could do a bit of a strip tease for him or even just whisper in his ear about how hot he is.
I'm just doing a simple, sweet card and a $5.00 scratch-off lottery ticket with a big heart on it ... and probably a bit of hanky-panky. Not to promote drinking, but if you are a bit inhibited, you could drink just a bit to take the edge off (a shot or so). We seem to have extra fun when I do that.
easier to blame you than look in the mirror!
.
the doctors overdosed him can't blame him if he
now refuses to take it!
I don't blame you for being upset.. afterall..
a vacation is to "get away" from it all, even if does mean your family.. but I am not the best person to give this kind of advice, I absolutely hate to be put in a position where I'm gonna have to "feel mean or bad" about telling them NO~ or I can't do something, etc.. will pray it all works out for you..
Many people do this in this situation and I cannot blame them.............nm
nm
I did NOT blame his culture-reading problem?
I gave the freshest stats at the time this a.m. - that he was a 23 y/o Korean boy....
only thing i stated about Korea and their culture was that in the schools they teach antiamericanism and I'm not blaming the culture, I'M STATING A FACT.
Geesh........
Even if the poster is dead wrong and clearly to blame? nm
trudat
I blame the parents. Children are not getting the love and attention
xx
I know the feeling.......
nm
For all of us feeling sorry for ourselves
ok - i'm not feeling sorry for myself because this is the story of my life - but I do feel very bad for my sister who is not even 60 yet.
First off - about 6 weeks ago my son hurt his knee playing softball - he had surgery and is on the mend - he has OI (osteogenesis imperfecta - so he knew he shouldn't be playing to begin with).
Then a month ago - got a call and my sister had fallen at work and broke her hip. Had surgery - OT/PT rehab, and was in the hospital until last wednesday - having home PT and doing much better. Then, on Saturday, she fell while getting back into bed and fractured her facial bones - she got dizzy and fell to the floor - falling onto the hip that was broken and onto her knees and then face. So, back to the ER - more CTs and now facial fractures. She wants me to take her to the pharmacy to get her diabetic supplies, since they found her to be diabetic while in the hospital (although I think it is probably really from the trauma since they didn't bother to do a hemoglobin A1C and just took blood sugars 4 times a day - and put her on insulin (someone's screw up) and I really don't want to take her out of the house - does anyone blame me.
I'm just asking here for prayers and good thoughts for her. She has had a hard life - 3 marriages (she's now married to the physical therapist who was our dad's PT when he broke his hip back in 1999) and just generally hard times. We are thankful that she has her current husband - and I would much rather him take her to the store when he gets home than me - but I'm gonna go ahead and call her - pray that she is too tired to go - and let that be that -
this is such a great place -
No, not feeling better- had a dog
dognapped before, not good. My neighbors cat caught a squirrel outside and I ran to rescue the squirrel and the cat ran and needless to say I was no help at all. Did you have one of those exotic cats by any chance, wonder why so wild? I have 3 cats and I entertain them by opening the shades and letting them view the birds but I could never let them be outside, seen too many animals killed that way and anyway our community has rules regarding no animals running around loose.
I know exactly what you were feeling. sm
My daughter is only 14 but she is such a "Daddy's girl" I can only imagine what her wedding day will be like. I will be a happy mess but my hubby will probably totally fall apart.
Thanks so much everyone - Fox is feeling a bit better sm
this evening. He was very lethargic this morning and I was concerned that the fentanyl patch wasn't controlling his pain, and I refuse to let him live in pain.
I gave him some Metacam (vet said it was okay) and gradually during the day he has perked up. We still have to lift him up because he has a hard time getting up but once he's up he's walking pretty well.
And he's still got a bit of a sparkle in his eyes...I think that's how I'll know. If the sparkle leaves and doesn't come back, it's time. But please God, not for a while yet....
Have been there and I know the feeling but
I got over the just burning, ticked off feelings I had, for no reason at all that I could explain. This was probably when I was in my 40s. I just did not want to talk to anyone, did not seem to want to be around anyone but get this, now in the 60s and golden years, what a difference! No more anger, loving life, sweet beyond imagination, no financial difficulties, basically nothing to worry about except when do the cats need feeding again! Yours probably will pass also. I cannot tell you or anyone else what was causing mine but I have so gotten over it, just took awhile. I do not think for 1 minute mentally related. Hormones? Who knows but as I age life just keeps getting better and better.
Been there and know how you are feeling
I lost my Tasha (chow/lab) this last May after 16 1/2 years but I did not make the decision she did and passed away on her own. It was hard, have two cats but it is not the same as a dog. Still tear up when I think about her but she is out of her pain and running like a puppy again I am sure. I swore no more dogs but low and behold finally in November went to Humane Society and pick up Molly (another chow mix but a lot smaller) and did ot realize how much I missed a dog. Back to walking and socializing. Am getting a digital camera later this week and once I learn how to use it, will get her picture on here so I can brag. These little furry things bring so much into our lives and ask for so little. Love my cats too and they love the new dog. Decided on the dog in my life instead of trying to find another man. Take care, treasure your memories and love your remaining brood. Thoughts and prayers, Patti
I know the feeling
Last week I went to have a tooth extracted, was not impacted, I just broke it - when I went in the receptionist told me that it would be a surgical extraction rather than simple - they had not even looked at my mouth, when I questioned it, she said she would see what the dentist said and did - when he finished pulling the tooth, he proceeded to put in a suture - I asked the assistant why and she said he does it to prevent a dry socket - okay, I have never had one before - the receptionist then told me that since he sutured it, it was a surgical extraction and costed me 3 times as much as a simple extraction would have, simply because he sutured it closed to prevent the dry socket. Kind of a rip off in my opinion.
I know the feeling of getting nothing
done. I have 3 boys, ages 10, 7 and 5. I work 2 part-time jobs and I specifically scheduled myself off 1 of them on Monday, knowing they would be home. Fortunately, it was nice enough out that they could play outside in the afternoon while I worked and then had baseball practice in the evening (all 3 of them woo-hoo) so I could get to the track and the store.
I actually got to sleep in yesterday and got some cleaning done before I went to work (I do work at home). Overall, it was a pretty nice day off, but I learned a long time ago not to try to work an 8-hour day with 3 kids home. It just doesn't work.
same feeling here
I only had one child and I too think that it was really hard work - not just physically but emotionally - trying to give them all the right tools/knowledge, etc. to become responsible, productive adults. . We must have done something right because my 23 year old is quite an amazing young lady. I do miss the times when she was little and loved almost every minute of it, but I wouldn't want to go back and do it over.
I have a feeling.....
they Mike and Susan will get back together eventually.............
Sorry you are feeling so down (sm)
First of all, relax. You need to go to a doctor and get on an antidepressant? No insurance? If you can get the money to go to the doc for one visit, you can get them to prescribe an antidepressant that is on Walmart's $4 list and get it for $4 a month. Call United Way and see if they can direct you where to get help with your rent. Don't worry about whether or not you have cable, you'll be okay without that unless you need it for your job? Don't worry about not being able to give Christmas gifts...just explain that you don't have the money. People will understand and your grandson can have it explained to him. I have the same isolation issues that you do because of the job. Can you go to a temp agency and see about getting a job outside of your house so you can be around people more? There is a website called Exercisefriends.com where you can meet people in your area who want exercise buddies, maybe just someone who is starting out trying to walk every day or something like that (not sure what your fitness level is). Or advertise on Craigslist for a walking buddy (but be careful of course when first meeting the person). I met one of my best friends this way and have known her for 4 years now. If you want an email buddy feel free to email me. I think everyone is struggling right now and it is hard. I would be happy to have you vent to me via email all you want. :-)
I know the feeling though
I wish i could exchange my cat!!
I know the feeling...
my son tests me every day even though the answer in the end will be no...normal behavior...I also wanted to say I think you are brave for getting out of bad marriage, so good for you for being a good Mom and taking care of your kids!!!
It is sad when that feeling dies
and it usually seems to after a couple of years. I miss the kissing, the hand holding. All that goes by the wayside when the man starts taking you for granted. Then it just becomes sex without a feeling of love. Men are exasperting creatures !
Same exact feeling here.
The extreme Christians also changed my feelings a long time ago. I then started researching the facts and theories, scientific versus religion. And did you know that many people with above-average intelligence are not religious based on this knowledge? Interesting stuff. :)
How is your son feeling today?
My 3yo had a fever last Friday. Don't you just feel so terrible when they're sick?
I'm glad both she and you are feeling
xx
Thanks so much for that. I was sitting here feeling SM
terrible, even after all these years and telling people who do not even know me is humiliating.
Don't want to take the focus off of the initial poster who is having this decision to make now, but please just let me say that I was emotionally drained and just coming out of a short but very abusive marriage. I met this man and we were friends, nothing more. That grew and grew and soon I was looking forward to going into work. . . THAT should have told me something right there!  Then in a weak moment I went out with him and that was the beginning of the end. I was so in love with this man who made me finally feel good about myself and told me I deserved to be loved and treated right. I waited and waited for him to leave, even though he had little boys and that was killing me. I just could not see going on without him. After I wasted the time and suffered the heartache he was gone. Probably the only truthful thing he said to me on the phone was . . Don't cry over me. I'm not worth it. I come from a good decent family and this can happen to good people when you need to be loved. That is why I want to caution this woman again, please, please, do what is right. It's not the easy thing to do, but it is the right thing. If this man really values her, why is he still conversing and carrying on this friendship when he knows how she feels, and he knows he is not in a position to do anything about it?
Thanks gor hearing me out. I feel like I had my second shower of the day. You have a good heart to acknowledge me like you did.
Thank you so much! I am so tired of feeling like (sm)
I am running around in circles, wasting my time! I really hope the doc will approve it and that the meds will help.
How about the feeling of panic as you
are about to turn left across traffic and get on an on ramp? I always suddenly panic and wonder if I'm about to meet traffic coming off because I'm trying to go up an off ramp.
I start feeling bad when #s go into the 60-70s. Had
x
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