Way harsh? Oh come on. We are all adults here.
Posted By: Please. on 2009-06-16
In Reply to: Very eloquent and literate post, but....sm - Ella (retired)
This is not a out of the blue tragedy. She sat for two months with lousy paychecks coming in. Why? That is her OWN fault. It would have taken one for me to get movin.
What is wrong with saying get up, get moving and get a job? What is the alternative?
There is no good in crying over something you CAN fix. Maybe the OP NEEDS to find strength now and not be babied.
For the love of Pete!
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
So very harsh -
And if the shoe were on the other foot? What if your daughter or granddaughter were raped and you forced them to carry a baby what would remind them every single day of the trauma they suffered.
You may think it murder but it could cost you far far more than you could ever imagine if you forced that decision on your daughter or granddaughter in that situation. Harden your heart a little more because they would never forgive you. Truly, NEVER forgive you.
So harsh.
I think he loves that little girl.
How truly harsh you are
My grandson also comes into bed with his mother, as he has had nightmares and he is a very well-adjusted, very bright young boy, who is cared for and loved a great. He has a great deal of sympathy and compassion for other people and their feelings; in fact, he knows not to say anything cruel or hurtful to anyone, and act with kindness toward others. Perhaps you need to remember that. His very much a boy, and has a great relationship with his parents, and I seriously doubt that he, or the other children mentioned here will have any perversions or be maladjusted in this life. It is people like you that go around calling others sicko that I fear.
harsh
If you are not ready to settle down, then I don't really think that is his fault. 28 is pretty old to be going out all the time. Sorry if that is harsh :)
Wow! That's a little harsh, don't you think?
I disagree with you that
'nothing makes it the woman's fault?'
I don't think so!
Call me old-fashioned, but I, and I think also other people, have in general the tendency to
'condone' if men sidesteps rather than women stepping aside.
I, myself, I would never have something 'on the side', it's against my nature and morals.
A bit harsh. For me, I am Christian, and though I don't
think you should live the way you think is right. In the end, truth will prevail. As a Christian, I will pray for you just as I do others.
I may have been a little harsh in some of my posts
and if so I apologize. I truly do feel bad for you, I have sisters and I know I would be devastated. I hope someday soon you can both put this in the past and make up. I'm sure Thanksgiving may be a bit sad this year for you but I hope you can find some happiness and enjoy the day as best as possible.
Wow! A little harsh, but true :) nm
x
Not to sound harsh here BUT -
Freedom is not free. The military is there to provide a function in our society. It can provide wonderful opportunities for young people, provide them with a good education and training, BUT there is a chance they can be called to go overseas to fulfill a contract they willingly signed. I would let my children go in a second if they chose that route. I am at least 5th generation military myself. Quite honestly, kids these days have a better chance of being killed in a car accident than in combat. Look at the true statistics. You might feel better if you spoke with the recruiter with her. Just my two cents...Best of luck to her! :-)
Harsh punishment but . . .
like you, I don't agree with this sort of behavior at all. But what recourse does the school have? These days, kids communicate widely via the internet. When one child writes something evil or threatening about another child in a blog or sends bullying emails, parents go straight to the school and ask that something be done about it. In the same vein, shouldn't the school do something about their own teachers being bullied? Most schools now address this sort of thing in their parent/student handbooks.
We can leave this up to the parents, but sadly, lots of parents aren't doing their jobs, either monitoring their children's activities online or teaching them appropriate social behavior. In and of itself, this one comment about a teacher isn't so threatening, but the bigger picture can be pretty upsetting.
I have a friend whose teenage children drive me insane. I can barely keep my mouth shut around them. I would love to sit them down and tell them how obnoxious they are. They are profane and will curse in front of adults and then tell us that we're just uptight and "what's the big deal". Many times as I speak to my friend on the phone, her children will start a conversation with mom while she is on the phone to me. That's rude in itself, but the foul-mouthed comments about their teachers, etc., are horrible. Mom does nothing about it, in fact, she joins in with the remarks. In recent months, I hardly talk to my friend on the phone anymore, because these sorts of things were happening nearly every time I speak to her on the phone. That may not be relative to this situation, but it's an example of the kind of "support" that schools get from parents.
I think the school has to have some say over what the kids are doing online with respect to school, but 10 days total suspension is an awful lot.
Think I was too harsh in my comments to you sm
I apologize, I am very raw right now from undeserved treatment by DIL so when I saw your posting title, it bothered me. I love my grandkids so much that I would welcome a list of "rules" if one were presented to me. It's too bad she uses the Bible, I have had this done to me more than once by those who misunderstand the good book and use it as a weapon. I certainly would have a heart-to-heart with her, don't lose your temper, and let it be known that interpretation of the Bible is a very private affair and she should never mention demons, bring a Bible to your home, etc., etc. Give her the option of playing by your rules and an option of her only playing children's games, watching a movie, etc., and keeping her opinions to herself. Give her supervised visiting priviliges and then you're off the hook if she doesn't accept. If she persists, then she truly is in need of psychological help which is not up to you to provide. Give her the choice and if she chooses to keep it up, then you'll have no recourse, little kids don't need this. At least you tried, it's her choice to not adhere to your rules, unfortunately, she's missing out on a lot, I wish she could see how lucky she is to be "talked to" and given options. Good luck with it. Hate the sin and not the sinner. I once had to lay down the law with my sister and the Bible. I have made it clear that I won't tolerate Bible talk, she can come any time but the conversation has to be light, not inappropriate, not religious and no politics. It has worked pretty well, once in awhile she has a slip and has to be reminded but we are talking - no religion, no end-of-the world,no Jesus talk, it takes reinforcing every once in awhile. Good luck with it all, it's stressful.
i didnt mean to come off harsh
i just dont understand and that is simply because i have never been a smoker
I dont think anyone should ever start because it is addictive and I am aware of that, but there are also other ways to quit. i just was saying it doesn't sound like you really care.... which is completely your choice.
It is not harsh, this is justice for all.
The doctor who performed the IVF is as guilty as this woman, maybe even guiltier (more guilty).
They should go - hand in hand - either to jail or to the looney bin.
Children should get adopted or government takes care of them.
harsh landlord?
If my tenant fails to pay his rent, I cannot make my mortgage payment. Times are tough all around!
You can say that about adults but
How horrid of you to feel that way.
I know it is very harsh...the thing is I have asked her so many times (sm)
and the things she says are hurtful to my children. I am not petty and it is not over something small like candy or just having a difference of opinion. The things she says to them really scare and upset them. She let them watch a woman giving birth on TV once when they were very young...I had not explained yet to them exactly how a baby gets out...they were both very upset. She also has told other family members that she believes my husband is a child molester and that he has made my son, who is 11, gay. My husband is not a molester. My son likes girls. He has no idea she ever said that, but if he ever heard that she did, it would probably be very devastating to him. Each time I have sat down and tried to explain to her that we don't expose our children to this or that, and that we don't teach them to believe that there are ghosts or demons after them, she says she is a grown woman and can say whatever she wants to and gets all teary-eyed and wants to cry. Then later she yells at me, "oh, yeah, that's right I'm not supposed to say anything." She kept the kids while I was gone overnight this past weekend and I specifically asked her not to say anything that would scare them. She let my daughter invite a friend to sleep over. She told them all about ghosts and demons and how she once saw a demon in her closet. The girl sleeping over got scared and cried to go home at midnight. My daughter called me on my cell at midnight crying because her friend was scared and going home and she was also scared. At what point do I draw the line?
Are you harsh posters cops or parents?
A little late to post, but here's my idea as a mom of 5. Get her out of the house, some place public, Starbucks or the bookstore - a place where she won't storm off and you'll both be civil to each other at least for a few minutes. Tell her you love her, be understanding and really talk to her. Ask her what is going on in her life, is she stressed about something in particular? Don't alienate her. There is a lot of life ahead for you both and this is not a permanent condition for her. If ALL you do is punish you risk sending her off in a bad direction. At the end of the conversation it may seem you got nowhere, but she'll think about things and hopefully be a bit less impulsive. Please post back and let us know how things go.
Are there any other adults out there with braces??
Just had braces put on my crowded teeth on Tuesday. Feel like I am absolutely the only adult with braces in the world. Everywhere I look I see 13-year-olds with them, but no one in their 30s  But I guess it's better to look silly for a year and have beautiful teeth in the end than to look silly the rest of my life with crowded teeth, huh??
Same here bags for adults
And paper for my children (even though my older one hasn't believed in Santa Claus for a few years).
Big problem in adults
I worked at a hospital about 15 years ago where they were diagnosing senior patients for Alzheimer's. Surprisingly, they found that about two-thirds of these patients did not have Alzheimer's, but had learning disabilities and ADD.
ADD has been around as long as humans, but just given a name and attention in the past 2 or 3 decades.
People usually suffer in silence because they think it's just them, that they have a character flaw, etc.
I would speak to your doctor.
I think it's a shame when adults
cannot put their differences aside for the 2 major holidays a year.
Adults need one, too. Imagine how difficult it is
for parents who feel the guilt/burden of knowing they cannot provide a Christmas for their babies. I've been there. I know how it feels.
One of my resolutions for 2007 is to pay a set percentage of my gross income to a dedicated cause locally. I'm not sure yet whether I will work with the light/water company to provide assistance for those on shut-off notices (they seem to have less options than anyone else) or help provide transportation to/from doctor visits for elderly/handicapped individuals, but I am going to do something.
I've known 2 adults that had them, one woman was in her mid-20's sm
and the other was a man who was a corporate salesman for the company I work for. Good luck.
meant "consenting adults." LOL
xxx 
They are adults and can handle it. After all, this is the tradition
with your husband's family. If they don't want to go, then let them stay home. Surely they were aware this is what your husband's family does on Christmas Eve before inviting themselves to spend the night. Don't ruin family time with your family and your husband's family.
I like to use gift bags for the adults
and wrapping paper for kids. I know there is a lot of wasted paper when you wrap, but something about watching a child rip into a package is so fun.
Teenagers and immature adults
have always thought it was cool to "shock" people. Poor Britney lived for it, and ended up flashing her nether-regions and then completely ran out of ways to shock people ... no wait, that only left shaving her head on camera. < eye roll >
And I would hope adults have more sense than that,
99 out of 100 is unbelievable to me. I find his statement ridiculous for people who are considered grown.
1 In 5 Adults Uses Pool As Toilet
Officials: Swallowing Urine-Contaminated Water Isn't Harmful
PHOENIX -- A new study by the Water Quality and Health Council found that nearly one in five adults admits to urinating in a swimming pool instead of using the toilet.
Eight in 10 adults are convinced their fellow swimmers are guilty of such a crime, the study said.
Nevertheless, health officials insist that swimming in and even swallowing urine-contaminated water isn't harmful to someone's health.
"Urine in itself has been purified through a whole variety of bodily processes so that it's removed a lot of the contaminants in it," said Don Herrington from the Arizona Health Department.
Swimmers should be more concerned about swallowing parasites than swallowing urine, officials said.
Last summer, dozens of swimmers in the Phoenix area got sick from pool water, forcing the closure of all 29 Phoenix city pools.
The parasite which caused the illnesses, Cryptosporidium, comes from diarrhea.
Phoenix Parks and Recreation spokeswoman Amy Blakeney urged sick swimmers to stay out of the pool.
"People who are sick need to stay home and remain at home for 14 days after they're symptom-free, especially if they have diarrhea," Blakeney said.
Though city pools electronically monitor chlorine levels, the city of Phoenix has begun to require swimmers to shower before they jump in the pool as an extra precaution.
"Taking a shower allows those materials to rinse off and go down as sewage, and then gets a clean body into the pool water, which is what we all want," Blakeney said.
Are they adults? No. R-rate means under 17 not allowed. sm
Easy answer.
The recommended starting dosage for adults is 25 mg (sm)
3 to 4 x daily with a maximum of 150 mg daily. The medication is prescribed for depression, but with alot of those antidepressants, they are also prescribed for their sedative effect, and thus also prescribed for insomnia. Pamelor has been around a long time, and in my last 10 years of transcribing, don't recall any physician prescribing it as a sleep aid. The usual standard now seems to be trazodone, starting dose 50, but may increase in increments of 50 mg up a max of 300. I am not questioning your doctor's reasoning for prescribing this, I just find it unusual. I would not be concerned about increasing the dose you are taking. Most medications, in order to cause deliterious and life-threating potential, need to be taken 30x the normal prescribing dose. Hope you feel better.
We are talking about a 5-y/o here not grown wacko adults - sm
so it is not a diaper fetish. Odds are the child is looking for attention and as stated in numerous posts wants to be the baby again and have all the attention. If the mom can, she needs to spend some 1:1 time with her 5-y/o, maybe at bedtime, story reading, or just talking, or take him down to the corner store and leave the younger one at home with dad, etc. Anything really, just spent 15-30 minutes a day that is his time with him mom alone. I wouldn't get freaked about it. I have 2 girls and the one loves to play with her nipples and stroke her tummy. She is 7 and just exploring sensation at this point. I told her it is okay to do but in private, not in public. I am not making a big issue out of it; not that it is a big issue to begin with.
hold on....letting adults paddle my kid?
nm
I agree. Aren't you married adults?...
This is your husband, not your father. Having been in a relationship something like this in the very distant past I can tell you that you need to get rid of this jerk. Why do women put up with this garbage from their husbands or boyfriends? What advice would you give to a daughter or friend if she was in the same situation?
We're talking about kids; not adults.
I banned any gift giving between adults
when my husband and I got married. I will get my SIL and BIL something, but only because they have 6 small children and they always NEED something. Otherwise, Christmas is for the kids, period, plain and simple. Since I made that rule (when we had 6 small ones ourselves) his sisters refuse to come for Christmas dinner which I think is silly, but whatever. Christmas should not be all about gift giving anyway.
|
