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Dont know where your relationship has gone wrong but

Posted By: Gabby on 2007-02-14
In Reply to: Help - Disgusted by husband? - Lisa

my husband and I have been married now for 7 years and he is feely, smoochy, kind, considerate, loving, can have a grab each and any time he wants it. I thank my lucky stars to have found him at my late age. I dont know what has turned the love to disgust for you but I do not feel normally this would be a turnoff for most women, certainly not me. My love just deepens every minute we are together. I will say that I have an ole high school friend (this is her second marriage) that says identical things as you are saying. She and the fellow have no children together but frankly, I would not stay because of the children, never. Your children will suffer in a situation like this. My children grown when I met the present husband but I was divorced, raised the children and would not subject them to more unpleasantness. I think my friend and her husband will come to divorce eventually. Just do not believe you can overcome the disgust when it should be pure heaven by his touch.



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dont get me wrong!
i do have those feelings about him.

it's just the actual sex part.

and did you miss the fact that i never really enjoy sex with ANYONE?
i mean not NEVER... but close enough.

It was more is there something wrong with me...
Dont read this post if you dont want to know names
Brandon was not the worst of the bunch. People are for sure not voting for who they like. I will vote for Stephanie and Blake until they are gone. I couldnt get through on Lakisha and Melinda. They will be the last two IMO. I also like Jordan. I like none of the other guys. Would it be funny if all guys went home first and only girls were left!
Never said they dont communicate.Also dont spell
x
No I dont and I dont take any medication for anything. nm
:
How is your relationship with God? If not God, do you have sm
any spirituality in your life at all? I was exactly where you were....then I found Jesus. Late in life. He has given me purpose and pure contentment.

Nothing satisfies like Jesus and I've done it all: Alcoholism, rx drugs, bad relationships, etc.

Now I'm teaching a Bible study class, have a thriving marriage (after a horrible divorce) and am just very, very peaceful and happy.

Whenever someone like you comes to me with thoughts just like yours, I tell them about God and His saving grace. Will pray for you that you find the contentment you are so searching for.
relationship help

My fiance and I live together - been together 4 years - living together 3 months - supposed to get married this year. . Most of the time, everything is great.  He gets stressed out about finances, makes a rude remark to me about my lack of house cleaning ability, I get mad and go off by myself for a few hours - he gets even madder and starts saying our relationship is over, etc. . He leaves for several hours, comes home and we make up. . I am having a hard time with this. . I feel like I have to react a certain way or this whole blow up is going to happen. . I love him and know he loves me - I just don't understand how something so small can turn into something so big. . Anyone with any advice?


MIL-SIL relationship has nothing to do with
SIL's feelings for the daughter, just like MIL's feelings for him have nothing to do with her feelings for her daughter.
relationship
Is this how you want your life to be because he will not change even if he decides he is "ready" to marry you. Everything he does now he will continue to do. You definitely deserve better. Good luck.
she was in control of that relationship
x
Yes, your relationship will change sm

The first three months or so you will both be so tired you won't know how you can possibly make it, but you will. If you have family close by to help, that is great (I was an Air Force wife, so we were far from both our families). Hopefully, though, you will start to see your husband in a whole new light. I know I did. He had never had much use for children before, although I knew he loved animals, so that's always a good sign. He would spend hours playing with our cats, and he loved to sit and watch TV with one or both of the cats in his lap. To me, that showed a loving heart.


He had a lot of learning to do, but he became a wonderful father. Seeing that, I fell in love with him all over again. He became much more open emotionally, primarily with our son, but some of that spilled over into our relationship as well. And having a child together bonds a couple together like nothing else. Here is this wonderful being who is a part of BOTH of you, and who you both love like you never thought you could love another human being.


Sure, there will be difficulties. There will be times when he wants sex and you are so exhausted all you want to do is sleep for a week. There will be times when you are so focused on the baby you won't realize you are neglecting him. But if you are aware of all these possibilities, you are less likely to let the situation go on so long that it becomes a problem.


Good luck to you, whatever happens.  


The whole relationship should have been a no-brainer
Frankly, I thought he should have been given more punishment myself, but I don't think the DA/ADA really put a lot of effort into it. As I mentioned, they were going to accept the SIS until I pointed out that I didn't approve on the basis that it's not like another conviction would be destroying a lily-white record, at which point the ADA flipped through the file and said, "Wow, this guy belongs in jail." Going into it, the 'scoop' on the judge were that the 3 things he hated most were drunks, deadbeat dads, and woman-hitters, and the ex was the trifecta (he's about $1100 behind in his child support), but somehow he got to skate away. I do have mixed feelings about the sentence; I wasn't really injured, but on the other hand that was only because I called before it got worse.

I have my own share of self-esteem issues, which is why I stuck it out as long as I did. The only thing Dr. Phil ever said that made sense to me was, "We generate the reality we think we deserve." So I'm spending some quality time channeling Stuart Smalley and doing my self-affirmations, have blocked his phone, and am generating my new reality.
re the relationship with your daughter...
My sister-in-law, a wonderful woman, has a 30-something daughter, and she is struggling with their relationship.  She has recently decided to let things go for a while - for her own sanity.  She tells me that there have been problems with their relationship since her daughter was just a child.  It pains her to think that she may never have a good relationship with her.  My sister-in-law has 2 other children that she has a wonderful relationship with.  I think, sadly enough, that sometimes it just works out that way.  We have discussed the possibility of her daughter having psychiatric/emotional issues that could be hindering the relationship process - I don't know whether or not that could be an issue with your daughter.  The bottom line is, in my opinion, you can only do what you can do.  I don't think a parent should EVER give up on their children, but there may come a time when you have to realize that it is what it is, and you just have to accept that and worry about taking care of yourself.  Good luck to you.
a believer in God, personal relationship with God

My spirituality comes from many places...


Mother Teresa said:


People are often unreasonable and self-centered.  FORGIVE THEM ANYWAY.


If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives.  BE KIND ANYWAY.


If you are honest, people may cheat you.  BE HONEST ANYWAY.


If you find happiness, people may be jealous.  BE HAPPY ANYWAY.


The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.  DO GOOD ANYWAY.


Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough.  GIVE YOUR BEST ANYWAY.


For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.  IT NEVER WAS BETWEEN YOU AND THEM ANYWAY.


-----------


And that, my fellow MTs/MEs, is something we all should contemplate!


Have a GREAT week!!!


 


I agree - no kids, why do they have to have a relationship?
nm
does anyone besides me have a bad relationship with a grown daughter or son?
with one of your grown-up kids, or is it only me? My oldest daughter and I do not get along, never did. I love her, but am not sure if I like her. She is very selfish and self centered and it's all about her. Everyone else see's it but her. Of course, there's a lot more to it, but last night she sent me a letter saying basically she's done with me.....not sure at all where this is coming from. I really, really don't need this right now. So, is anyone else in any kind of a similar situation with an adult child? She's 38.

I'm so glad you have that type of relationship! That's how it should be. (sm)
She has every opportunity to come here and let them get to know her and then they would probably be happier going to her house. She is always so busy every time they see her. I would love for them to want to go to her house. It is so ridiculous for people to say it is me influencing them.
Death of someone you have a close relationship
even if they are not related by blood.

In 1990, my husband and I decided for the first time since we had been married to spend Thanksgiving with his family instead of with my family (we always did a Sunday Thanksgiving with his family before because my family was so large and his family was smaller).

My father died that Thanksgiving night. It took me 10 years to forgive myself for not being there that day. I have empathy for anyone who suffers a loss around a holiday, but hey, that's just me.
I'm glad they have a good relationship, too, but it's NOT
superficial to know your spouse's past history including his education.  Why be so secretive about something so mundane?  Is she going to love him any less (or more) whether he did or didn't finish high school - probably not.  Is it going to change how he treats her now if she knows - probably not.  Even if it changed everything about their relationship, she's still his wife, and to not know his education level after 30+ years of knowing each other is just a wee bit strange to me.  Once again, in my opinion, he's supposed to be her best friend, her confidante, the one person in the world she can trust anything to.  Why the evasiveness?  JMO
I feel so sorry for you. Please rethink your relationship with this man.
.
Long Distance relationship
I think you answered your own question without realizing it. You still want to see new places, experience something new. To move back would mean you would probably never get to do those things...they are dreams you have, don't live your life wishing you had done what you wanted to do. Great relationships are easy to have when there are so many miles between you, when you are living together everyday it will be a whole different situation. Right now you have so little time together you make sure those few hours are perfect or as close to it as they can be. If you stay in this LD relationship you can still move someplace else and see exciting things, you will just find a way to see each other from another location.

What would you do if you got a fantastic, once in a lifetime, can't turn it down opportunity for something tomorrow, would you take it or would you throw that chance away to move back home where you don't really want to be? When you answer that question you will have your answer.
Are you considering a long-term relationship
with this gentleman? If so, you might want to give some serious thought to his money issues as they could very well become your money issues.

His joke was probably just an attempt to be funny, though rather clumsy and thoughtless. Since it bothers you, you could discuss it with him and tell him why it made you angry and base your next move on his response.

It would be his actual money issues that would be of greatest concern to me.
I mean:..'not a very close relationship....nm
nm
once the trust is gone, so is the love, and the relationship..sm
be completely honest with him..now, before he gets out of rehab. If he is doing it only for you or to get you back, it is never going to work and it is just a matter of time before HE feels comfortable enough to start drinking again. You sound pretty sure that you want it to be over, so see a lawyer and start divorce proceedings now. don't wait for him to get out and start things all over again. You have to be up front about YOUR feelings, as well. Do not lead him on thinking there is hope. If telling him how you feel puts him back into drinking again, that is his problem and not yours. It would only serve to prove that he was not serious about stopping drinking anyway, and helping himself, but only a means to get back into your life. Do not take on the guilt. He is responsible for his ownself, and you are responsible for you. But do not let his expectations of coming back go on any longer. He has a right to know how you feel now, before it is too late. You already know in your heart that things will go back to the way they were before, if you let him come back. Show him how serious you are, be honest, and start the actions you need to extricate yourself from the situation. He will not change.. trust me on that one. I have been there too.
You ead my response wrong, terribly wrong
I am trying to ask what does she think it will help, not being nasty- tell me and I will try this. I would stand on my head and gargle peanut butter if I thought it would help - I wanted to know why a letter? They are thumbing their noses at the courts - commanded to appear- I was there and they werent.
y huby and have pretty much the same kind of relationship as you mg
We have both learned where our strengths and weaknesses are. When our children were toddlers and it was bedtime I began losing my patience. Their constant getting up and fighting sleep didn't seem to bother him, so he handled bedtime. We share homework duties, I do the laundry and most of the cooking, he and the children clean up after dinner. He likes to cook on Sundays. It has been working great for 19 years.
Well, any healthy relationship should be close to equal
My husband works FT and still helps out a lot around the house. I only work PT, so I usually do the cooking, helping our daughter with homework and most of the cleaning. My husband always cleans the kitchen after I cook (and vice versa) though and he cleans the bathrooms. We also alternate doing the laundry. So, I'd say everything evens out to be pretty close to 50/50 in our relationship. We are truly best friends and we treat each other as such, and I would never dream of "serving" my man - that's just a ridiculous statement! I even had that part taken out of our wedding vows! If it becomes a problem where you feel like you're being taken advantage of, then you need to sit down with your husband and let him know that he needs to pull his own weight or you won't be happy. Good luck!
Anyone had a relationship with a person in jailr or prison?
Is it someone you knew or have you gotten to know them since they went to prison? Do you write them or visit?
I have a love/hate relationship with the thing.

Keeps me roasty toasty...In that picture there the wind chill put the temperature to -25, the kind of cold where your eyes steam and then that steam frosts your lashes up.  It's very dangerous. 


HOWEVER, these coverall things are designed for dudes with no curves, so the crotch winds up going down to your knees and you wind up walking like a penguin.  I have wiped out in it and I feel like the blueberry girl from Willy Wonka where they have to roll her away.


No way, no day would you find me in California or anywhere outside of New England.  It's best I don't venture too far away from my mental health care providers, know what I'm sayin?



I just some at Tractor Supply I've got my eye on (Man, I'm such a hick!) that are actually specifically tailored for women, so a set of those are on my wish list along with that split keyboard. 


 


Can you close the door on your relationship and not look back? sm
Of course, you will need to be in touch for the sake of the children, but you as a person need to be able to look back and have no *what ifs* to ponder about.  You need to know in your head you have turned over every stone and mustered every bit of strength in your possession and tried everything you possibly could before you end this.  Otherwise, it will forever sit like a huge weight on your back and make it hard on in life.  You also need to be able to speak about your husband in an objective manner for the sake of the children.  I agree with the other poster who suggested counseling for the children.  Please consider that no matter what else you decide for yourself.  Oh, how I do wish my parents had done the same for me as a child.  Their relationship has left me with wounds so easily reinjured and made some things in life very tough for me.  Best wishes to you.
relationship question, pls need confirmation/advice

A younger (like 20 years younger) has fallen for me.  He knows what he wants in life; tired of the young girls who play the mind games, etc.  What are our chances of having a good relationship together.  I am definitely attracted to younger men always.


Thanks for any advice or any experience you may have.


long distance relationship - dead end?

I've been in a long distance relationship for over a year now. About 1000 miles apart....we see each other once a month and it's great for the most part. We miss each other a lot, talk everyday, and almost never fight. We get along great and truly prioritize and look forward to our meetings.


Our only problem is....the long distance thing has no end in site. Neither of us are planning (or willing) to relocate to the other's location just yet. He feels that I should 'come home' back to where our friends and family are, where we both grew up.....I feel he should get out and experience new things while we are young.


I still want to see new places, maybe move again, experience something new again, and am simply not ready (if ever) to move back. So what should I do? Bite the bullet and move back? Does this mean we have reached an impasse that will not work? Sometimes I worry that we are on a dead end road, but I could not imagine splitting because we have such a great relationship.


ANY relationship based on lies is doomed to failure

Your relationship is truly blessed and an inspiration to others. Congrats and Love long! :) nm
s
Normal nerves, BUT you and your relationship w/hubs will change & evolve, hopefully
s
i know nothing about aol....dont like it at all..sorry cant help, nm
zzzz
And you dont think that is sad?
x
And you dont think that is sad?
x
I dont get it ??
x
actually... dont think so!
I mean, I think a lot of mutts probably have some kind of pit in them... but my trainer believe's Bailey is a jack russel/border collie (he is SOOOO Hyperactive you wouldn't believe) and Rylee, her mom was a full bred american bulldog (at around 100 pounds). We don't know what her dad was, but we think boxer (or maybe pit?) but she is a 360 from Bailey and is calm and SOOOOOo sooo sweet the sweetest girl ever :) here's them when i first had them, bailey was about 3 months and Rylee was about 10 weeks I think...

They still want to be held to this day :) big ol lap dogs.

it's funny that since i dont have children yet, they really are my babies... i take so many ridiculous amounts of pics of them!


i dont know, am i?
nice talking trash, you must be one of the trolls following me around but here I am cause i dont care what you say about my looks!! First time in the Atlantic ocean, so warm :)

I told you why I liked the show, for the inspiration and the real people.

Dont worry, you can't bring me down...

Dont know where you get your borax from
but mine has absolutely nothing to say about poison on it. It says keep out of eyes, could irritate. Oh, 1 more thing, it says not to ingest but hey, guess what, check your regular toothpaste and this says the exact same thing, do not ingest. I wonder how many people pay attention to this. Thanks anyway for the information you thought correct.
I actually dont mind others using....
a cell phone if I am in a store as long as it is not to argue with family etc. My son has one and sometimes he will use it in a store to call me and ask me something regarding an item I asked to grab for me while there etc. I have also heard husbands talking to their partners asking questions regarding food shopping while in an isle. That doesnt seem to bother me at all..
dont know which is worse

that or hearing that Sanjaya is still on AI???!!!


Going to watch AI *live* my time for first time this year!



dont have a clue
Well said!
Dont think you have a leg to stand on
The difference between owning and renting is what you are up against. The swimming pool does not belong to you, nothing around there as far as buildings and so on is yours. The owners have the right to come onto their own property, I would think, and throw down as many cigarettes as they want, they own it, right? Otta luck, seems like.
I dont think she meant anything...sm
rude towards you by what she said. I think she was just letting you know how some doctors feel. I did work as a nurse for 15 years prior to transcription and she is right. Some doctors just hate it when a suggestion is made by someone other than themselves even a nurse, they do not like it and also will not listen or suggest the same thing. Some, not all seem to think only they know best. I do agree with one of the other posters that a good doctor is a doctor that listens to you. Good luck and I do hope you feel better soon.
well, i dont have any teeth there. sorry to say.
i have all fake bridges and partials on the top of my mouth.  i only have 1 jaw tooth left on the top that is my tooth, and its fine.  i have had this knot for probably 6 or 8 years.  but its usually about pea-sized.  everytime i am diagnosed with a sinus infection it flares, but never this bad.
Dont know who you are referring to, but I never
s
I like winter, especially since I dont have to get out
x
i dont care

I hate that now in GA it is state law that they have to have it at age 13.  You know statistically girls have already had sex by that age, which is VERY SAD.  First they said only girls that have not been sexually active and now it is for any girl who wants it.  Very confusing.  I am just so sick about the government stepping in on this.  If my daughters and I feel that they need to have it, then it should be up to us, not some fat guy sitting in an office saying it is better for us.   I think more studies should have been done before they made it a law.  That is all.  Other then that I feel that it is like any other shot... some people dont get flu shots every year... are flu shots bad?  Can they make you sick, yes sometimes, but people should not be forced into a flu shot!


Dont have the veneers but have
all kinds of caps and crowns that cover the teeth, have a great smile now as compared to when I was younger. I had the more whiter teeth put in but with coffee, etc. they tend to not look as stark white as you speak of. I love my smile.