If your husband had a problem with your weight and (sm)
Posted By: Butter and clutter on 2007-07-30
In Reply to:
My husband has had a problem for years with me because I am not extremely organized and I have struggled with my weight. We have been back and forth about divorce because I know he has never been happy with me. Last night he admitted his disappointment and said that my weight and lack of organization bothers him and that unless I am going to "try hard and fix this" we should get a divorce. I am not extremely overweight, but he is not a large person. This has been the struggle for years, where I spend all my waking hours trying to make myself and my house the way he wants it, but eventually I always gain some back and revert back to my less organized ways. My house is clean, but I am not super-organized. He thinks I should have an ongoing shopping list stuck on the fridge and always have everything in its place. But I work full time and I take care of our kids while he is out and about, travelling for work or for fun a large amount of the time. Trying to be that organized and disciplined feels like prison to me. Last night he told me that I should just take my part of the equity and move out because he was never going to be happy with me unless I would, "really try to change these things." But I am tired of trying to please him when I know eventually things will go back to the way they were before. This is not my personality and he is asking me to change my entire self basically.
My husband came from a home with a supermom - she did everything - had a career, kept herself looking great, kept the house spotless and organized, sewed her own tablecloths and curtains, cooked fabulous meals. But she did it at the expense of never having time for her children, and now that they are adults, they are not close to her, but they do show up for any occasion she tells them to show up for. She worked as a nurse in the evenings after they were home from school, and cooked and cleaned during the day while they were at school.
So should I try to change? Am I being unfair to him to not? There are many things I would like to change about him, but I figure people should accept each other for who they are. Although I have gained some of the weight since our marriage, I was up and down some before we got married - we dated 5 years before we got married - and he knew I wasn't terribly organized. The truth is I don't really want to change. I don't feel that I am that bad. I am a good mom, our house is clean, I work full-time - I feel like I am accomplishing a huge amount. My job is happy with me, my kids are happy with me. I think he is expecting too much from one person.
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How much weight have you (or your husband) gained since high school?
15 for me and 30 for DH
I am only 5Ƈ". When I weight my desired weight (sm)
my face looks bad - drawn. I like myself best when I weigh about 140-150.
Does your husband or significant other do this? Just now, at 7:30, my husband came home from sm
playing sports with a friend. After showering he comes downstairs naked and tries to start a conversation with me. My "office" is in the living room and he is standing in back of the couch so I can't see any private parts, just him without his shirt, but I can see enough to know he clearly is naked! I think he wants me to be amused or get turned on or something, but I'm not amused one bit. In fact, I keep working and basically ignore him.
Poor guy. I swear he thinks he's Vince Vaughn or something. I should at least smile at him but all I want to tell him is to put some clothes on! ugh!
weight
Buy less and tell him "this has to last until next Wednesday" or whatever. A calorie is a calorie, so eating "too much" is a habit you need to help him break.
Her weight has really come down
from around 13 or so to now 5 and I started her myself on kittie food (read it has more calories than cat food) and also an extra calorie boost that I got at Petsmart. The cat is feeding and drinking well but she is so skinny. The vet put her on additional med Friday saying possibly she was having organ failure- of course I know what that meant- hate to hear but my posting is I wondered if the sounding off just attention getting. I do not want in pain (I have enough of that for the both of us, ha!) but wondered if just wanting me to pick her up. Hard to do and type with just 1 hand!
weight
You GO Girl.....keep up the good work!! Don't let me catch you with a chocolate bar or something that is not on diet plan.......LOL....LOL....LOL...
You might try Weight Watchers sm
I know that it is an expense, but so worth it. You can eat regular food, but most importantly, there are group meetings with lots of support. You'll meet nice people of all ages with the same struggles, and the goals are not set too high at first. It sounds like you feel alone, and you're not. I found Weight Watchers to be helpful in that you can eat regular food and the instructors were really supportive. We'd laugh and then get serious about our quests. You may want to consider a counselor (not being mean here), but I hear your cry for help. Why not make an appoint with your primary care doctor just to express your concerns. You have the power (you are special ya' know)! 
My weight, unlike yours, has nothing to do with
the amount of attention I get from my husband, loads of that and I am overweight. He treats me like the love of his life. I would say to you maybe the body habitus you have really is not playing a part in the attention seeking you want. If I were thin, I really do not think my husband would be around. He told me no one wants a bone except a dog and they even try to hide theirs.....
well, i try to eat right. i need to lose some weight sm
so i do buy whole wheat stuff, bread, wraps, spaghetti. i buy low fat/fat free lunchmeats, 2% cheese. i don't buy cupcakes and cookies (or else i'd eat them!) i don't drink much milk, not that i don't like it, just don't drink it much. i drink more water than anything. i'll have about one diet dr. pepper a day. i love food, it's just trying to stay on a healthy track. my problem is i don't get enough exercise. i have a 5 y/o and an 8 y/o that keep me busy. but i do like to exercise.
Try Weight Watchers instead.
But how did she lose all that weight?
She was really heavy and saw her lately in my weekly rags and so thin now.
My furries weight
I was just at the vets office this morning with my big boy and took him for something else and the physician thought they would take the time to admonish me about his weight, telling me to change his diet, no wet food, only dry, smaller bit 2x a day. I tried to explain in a nice way I did not mind cutting back now but definitely did not want to change brands at this time because of the food recall. As she persisted, I got more hot under the collar, finally telling her it would be much easier for me to cut back on his food than to give him the wrong kind (mine is 1 that has never had a recall and feel safe with it right now) than it would for my cat to go into renal failure - you cannot put a cat on dialysis. I think she sorta got the point and lightened up. Ridiculous for her to suggest such a thing at this time with my explanation of why not wanting to change foods.
weight loss
The only tried and true method for weight loss is to burn more calories than you take in. For me, that means eating healthy (no junk) and lots of exercise. I jog every morning and work out at the gym 3-4 times a week with weights. If you build muscle, your metabolism increases even at rest. It gets so hard as we age and harder after each baby so consistency is really important. Good luck!
weight loss
 I am doing a diet called the Abs Diet. There is a book available for it. You eat 6 small meals per day, lots of fiber and wheat, turkey, almonds. It has toning exercises targeted mostly for your stomach demonstrated in the book. You weigh at the beginning, middle, and end of the plan - a 6 week plan. In the first 2 weeks I lost 4 inches off my waist and dropped almost a point off my BMI. I'm never hungry and because of the protein and healthy things I eat I don't crave junk food. Of course, you have to drink 8 glasses of water per day, and they recommend if you must drink sodas to only have 2 per day, that is diet soda. Go to www.absdiet.com to learn more about the plan. Good luck!!
so, how much weight have you lost? nm
?
I have had some weight loss
It hasn't been like a big dramatic thing, but I'm down about 5-6 pounds. I'm sure part of that is that I have been watching my fat and calories, but I actually feel like I'm eating pretty well. I have been more active, too, getting out and walking every night, working in the yard, and it's been hot and humid here in Wisconsin so I'm sure I've sweated some off. You know, I don't know if it works, but I do know I would pay more than $50 every 4-6 weeks for a personal trainer or motivator, and I kind of use this as my personal trainer. I know that I should watch my fat, and I don't try to have a big cheesy pepperoni pizza and take Alli to make it all go away, because I know then I might have those nasty treatment effects. But for the last week and a half, it has kept me honest in my eating for the most part, and for me that's worth it. I need to drop about 40 pounds to get to my goal, and I'm shooting for February to do that by, so I'm going for the slow steady loss, hopefully Alli will help me get there.
weight problem
My son, who is now 27, has always had a weight problem. I tried absolutely everything and nothing worked. I tried Weight Watchers, which has children's meetings and this worked the best. Also contact local hospital, sometimes they have children weight loss programs.
Your weight problem may be due to your
I hope you feel better soon. Usually weight problems are psychological, and it sounds like you are under a lot of stress.
That's a weight off your mind!
Glad it was just a contact allergy to something avoidable.
I can't touch roses myself.
I don't think you can be happy at any weight sm
I've never been skinny. I am a happy person. I would like to lose weight, but it isn't going to ruin my life if I'm never skinny. I have a good marriage, 2 beautiful children, a job I enjoy, hobbies I enjoy, ect.
I know a woman though who weighs maybe 100 pounds soaking wet with her pockets full of rocks and she is the biggest B I know. She is always grumpy and unhappy. She dislikes anyone who is very happy and thinks they are just pretending for others to see.... then again I know a woman who is nearly 300 pounds with the same attitude.
I don't think weight has anything to do with the happiness of the person, but rather the other things in life.
Weight loss
Good luck with your weight loss. I'm also trying to lose weight and am down 8 pounds. Do you know anyone who is in Weight Watchers? I couldn't afford to join, but my neighbor was a member and gave me all the pamphlets and I'm following the points system on my own. I also walk every night for about 30-45 minutes.
About Weight Watchers...(sm)
If you look hard enough, you can find the information to do "home-grown" Weight Watchers. Their point system is patented and therefore public information. Since you plug in little factoids about your food (calories, fat, and fiber) to come up with the points value and the number of points for your weight are available with a online search, it is possible to do this without the Weight Watchers meetings or online support. I did. I lost a buttload and kept it off. You can do it too. Now just jog/walk while you watch the TV and you're good to go--for free. I get all revved up to do exercise videos for about 3 days. I have wasted too much money on them. :)
Trying to lose weight
Has anyone tried Hoodia and does it work?
NO WEIGHT GAIN AFTER
When I had my TOTAL hysterectomy at age 30, my doctor told me that I should not use the excuse that I had a hysterectomy and gained weight. He said that was an excuse and if I gained weight, it certainly would not be because I had a hysterectomy. Well, I'm here to tell you (31 years later) I never gained "because" I had a hysterectomy. In fact, I never gained an ounce. Now, have thyroid problems and have LOST weight tremendously but not because of a hysterectomy or any other reason. Can't do the diet thing, because I don't have THAT kind of will power! Best of luck you to and all....
cat's weight loss
I've had cats for over 20 years. If you haven't had labs drawn, I strongly suggest it. We had to euthanize her (after spending at least $1K on subcu fluids, etc.), as her weight had gotten down to less than 4 pounds. If (when) I had to do it over, I wouldn't put another cat through all that, even though I have a fabulous vet. She had liver failure, and there's simply no cure for that. And there's really no way to know for sure about their pain level. Sadly, it's common when they get past 10 years old. But there are so many other cats out there who need loving homes.
I hope this helps. It's really heart-breaking. They ask for so little, yet give SO much in return!
I'm very sorry for your situation.
weight gain
I have gained a lot of weight since my daughter graduated from high school. . she was very active in school and in sports and I was active along with her. . now. not so much. . I still like to go out and be around people . . though not as much as I used to. . sometimes you have to just force yourself to do things. . I have also thought about some time in the future getting a job somewhere else just to be around people. .
weight gain
yes I have gained weight. And I have become unsocial. I have noticed I no longer want to get dressed anymore and when I go somewhere I cant wait to get back home and put on comfy clothes. I know other MTs who have the same problems.
I too have gained weight. . . sm
Only I have gained 50 pounds since July!
When you press on the skin (not the indendation from the chair), does it pop back up or stay indented? If it stays indented, it might be edema. I would go to the doctor though just to make sure everything is okay. I was suddenly having problems with swelling, and the doctor decided it was a medication I was taking that was causing the swelling.
I hope it isn't anything serious! Good luck!
I have gained weight .......
Well, I have... and my pants are tight. I just wanted those of you in the same boat to give me some sympathy! Congrats to those of you that have lost recently!! I have got to start eating better and moving. If Spring would "really" get here I would be outside alot more..good excuse anyway! I lost about 35 pounds last year and have gained about 15 back. I honestly am more concerned with the health aspect of carrying more weight around the middle than I am of looking better, although I will take that too. I have got to get motivated.
Weight Watchers Anyone?
I joined a week ago and stuck to it, but my scale says I haven't lost anything yet. Anybody have any success stories to encourage me?
I think weight is a big factor, too.
My daughter didn't start until age 13 and she is very, very thin.
Ok, my big boy cat is weight challenged
I refuse to hurt his feeling and say (fat)around him so let's just keep at weight challenged. Took him to the vet today as noticed his coat was not shiny like his brothers and he was so big wanted to see if possible diabetes or thyroid and could go from there. He, his lighter-weight brother and younger half sister have all been grazers. I keep the food bowls full in the day with wet and dry food when I went to bed, treats thru the day. Well, good times are up and now vet says labs ok and wants to get him on diet. Vet has said 2x a day 1/3rd cup of food and maybe 2 little pieces of the dry food as a treat. He is 4 years old and 23 lbs. He is a BIGGGG boy. Anyone else out there who has had to put their furries on diets and how did yours turn out?
Yes I can believe gaining a lot of weight in a couple of
weeks. I had to take a round of Decadron (as well as a Decadron and Depo-Medrol injection) for a nasty sinus infection and gained several pounds during the the 2-week period that I took the p.o. My face also got very round during that time and I have not lost the weight (got to admit I haven't tried very hard, though). So, yeah, I believe it about the steroids. 
Any experience with Weight Watchers.
I am thinking about joining, but hate to cook. Can I lose weight if I don't want to cook their recipes?
Weight Watchers is the best program
You can eat what you would cook every day, but it is the portion control. I used this program after having both of my children as I gained close to 100 pounds with each pregnancy (too much bread and butter). I have now stabilized, but still watch my portions. I do believe the water and exercise are a very, very important part of Weight Watchers. I did not feel deprived from sweets because as the other poster stated, the point system took care of that. If you know you will indulge, you simply cut back on one of your meals. I had a husband and two children to care for, but I still lost weight eating the same food that I served them, I just controlled my own portions. Hope this helps. Weight Watchers gets my vote. 
Has anyone had any weight loss success
How about other rx medications? I am thinking about trying the rx route, wondering if anyone could suggest a particular drug. Thanks!!!
I tried a weight loss medicine before, OMG
you have to be really careful, not a good scene with what I tried- just put on the market as over the counter, starts with X I think, years ago but if you eat anything fatty- anything you have orange diarrhea running down your legs. Not a pretty sight but that is what happened in my case - needless to say, did not take that very long, no notice, just there when you least expect it....
has anyone done nutrisystem to lose weight sm.....
and was able to keep the weight off after you stopped eating their food? i'm tired of being stuck at the same weight. i was thinking of joining weight watchers. i've done that before and lost, but i had a 6 mos old baby dragging him along. now he's 5 and i'm ready to try again. but just wondered if anyone had success with nutrisystem. thanks
Good. and weight is not the only thing--sm
that causes the conditions mentioned. I have a big kitty too, and he really does not eat that much, but a mixture of one small 4 oz can of wet and perhaps about 1/2 c of dry per day. he is just a big cat, weighing 14 pounds at last visit. He is very timid and does not do much for play or exercise. Sometimes kitties are just big, like humans, and it is not always diet that makes them that way. I, too, would be very apprehensive in changing pet food right now. I love my kitties too and so far, am thankful that their food has not been one that has been recalled. Changing vets is easier than changing doctors, but if you are not happy, then move on. Personally, if one tried to give an attitude of forcefulness with me, vet or doctor, I would be gone in a heart beat. You may find a much nicer one down the road. Give your kitty a pet and mommy knows best. lol.
I'm 5ƈ" and my doctor says ideal weight
xx
Have you thought of Weight Watchers?
I've been on it since the end of April and have lost 10 pounds so far. I have another 40-50 to go, give or take. You can eat whatever you want on WW. It emphasized portion control, which you seem to be doing already. You don't have to go to meetings if you don't want to. You can do it online, which is what I am doing.
you will not lose weight without exercise.
nm
Thinking of trying Weight Watchers
and am wondering if anybody has tried it. You can email me and tell me what you think. I heard the point system is easy and very balanced and you don't get hungry.
Do we have a weight loss board?.nm
...
Gaining weight with Depo
I, too, gained 50 pounds with the Depo during the first year alone. I love how doctors say you gain weight because it increases your appetite. Bull!! No way I ate myself 50 pounds heavier within that short amount of time! I, unfortunately, didn't really have a choice but to take the Depo, but now that I do I'm coming off of it. Everyone I've talked to says the weight does eventually come off, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed!
He has made a lot of comments about my weight (sm)
so I have been to self-conscious to be with him. But if he is using my undies doesn't that mean he wants me? Or not? I'm confused.
I'm trying to lose weight through the WW program
I started during the summer and kind of fell off of it. I'm trying to lose between 30-40 pounds. My daughter became a vegetarian about 4 months ago and she already lost 23 pounds. I like my meat so I won't go that route, but I'm trying to exercise a little bit every day and eat healthier. Good luck to you and everyone else trying to lose.
Here is one oy my boys who also has a weight problem - SM
He just turned 6 on Christmas, and he has always been huge. He is about 20 pounds. He was the biggest kitten of his liter. I don't let him eat that much, but he just doesn't seem to lose much weight. I try to get him to play and exercise, but he is a true Garfield. My other 2 cats are nice and slim. I just don't get it! I have tried the Iams Weight Control formula, but it just didn't help much. Now I have them all on the Good Life Recipe and they all seem to love it. Here is a picture of him doing what he does best!
Weight Watchers at home
I didn't go to meetings. I bought the calculator and the whole kit off the WW website. The most important thing was that I had support from my husband and resolved myself to do it. I ate ice cream every night, but just a small bit. That kept me going.
I tried a bunch of different diets, but they obviously didn't work in the long term. My mind was the thing keeping me back. Once my mind was set to do it, I did it. I've had that weight off a couple years now with most of it off for 3 years. (I had a pregnancy in there!)
Sorry I didn't respond. You can give me a virtual slap on the hand. I'm happy to talk about it, though, if you'd like!
Weight Watchers at home
I bought the kit from the website but didn't go to meetings. It's setting your mind to do it and being really sick of being fat. I tried so many other times to lose weight, I can't tell you.
Good luck!
Weight watcher turn off
I checked out their program this past Friday. I hate when the receptionist starts trying to tell me how losing at least 10% of your weight will do this and that. Being in the medical field I feel that I could put more in than she would know, such as excessive weight can play part in some cancers, high blood pressure, diabetes and on and on. I got the feeling that when I mentioned I worked in the health field and then started to say what else weight supposedly plays a big role in she did not care for. I really do not need lecture from lay person.
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