And who said anything about them paying for their father's expenses?
Posted By: Interesting! on 2009-03-06
In Reply to: Important: I disagree with this sentence in your post: - Jan
Not me, for sure because I have more sense than that. I have told my husband we have separate accounts and he is not responsible for me if I were to die first. He does not have to pay my credit card accts, etc. because those were made before we even met. Lastly, let me just say this, if the father of those children WAS competent, he could then take his own father (the g'father) to court and he most probably would get THEIR share because he is NEXT of kin, not them. I do not think you have a leg to stand on in this matter. I have enough knowledge to know who comes first, etc. My father died owning about 1,000+ for a doctor's bill. I was next of kin, did I have to pay, NO. Where you got that sentence she and her brother??? guess you just pulled out of thin air.
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cat expenses
I not only would spend that, but I have, and more than once. I'd do it again, too. I have 3 now, and they're my only "kids."
For all the neglected animals out there, thank heavens there's some sort of balance out there. They certainly pay us dividends all day, every day!
...house. Baby will only add on more expenses and maybe loss of
s
She's paying for it
You can be sure she is paying for the extra attention. Also, the hospital likely insisted that all that security be provided, not because they are necessarly worried about Britney but about people trying to get near her. The last thing they want is for her to get harmed while she's in their institution.
Usually if there is a VIP patient, they don't keep the chart all in one place - they parse it out in 3 or more different locations under lock and key.
Britney has always gotten that kind of treatment - when she was in Mousekeeters, everyone had to leave the gym where she worked out when she came for her exercise. Britney is a little snot, always has been even as a young teenager - turns on the sweetness for the cameras. Millions of people have bought her act.
However, I do feel for her in her present situation and hope she can turn her life around now.
Me again, tell you what I did about paying a bill for a dog
like I said above, huge animal lover. I have 3 furkids but a friend of mine whose son is a druggie, was not seeing about his dog. The dog needed an operation for a growth on his foot. I paid over $1000.00 for that and now I buy my newly adopted doggie its medicine each month. I never give my friend money because want the money to go for the doggie, not drugs for her kid but you can believe I am seeing the doggie is comfy!
Okay, I don't mind paying
to make sure everything is in order! Thanks for all the advice!
...paying for it himself out of his PT job earnings. nm
s
paying for college
I have two sons in college right now ...one out-of-state, one in a private university. They both end up getting paid to go to school because they have so many scholorships. Did the high school counselor help me find any....NO. We are in a small town and I got no help from the school or town. Neither one of my sons played any sports...but I will tell you what I found out...what is more important is that your child is involved in school and the community. They don't care if they have ever worked a day in their life...they want to know what they have done in school grade wise, and community wise. Even just ringing the bells for the Salvation Army at Chrismtas time will earn you a scholorship. I filled out over 56 scholorships for both my sons to go to school for free...you just have to learn as you go how to word answers on the scholorships. We are not poor but we are not rich...but we made to much money to get any FAFSA help.
paying off bills
In our case, we refinanced through someone in our church who had a refinance company. It included all our credit cards and no, we did not have to cut them up. We still have them and DO NOT EVER USE THEM. It also included paying off our cars. The reason we had so much debt is because I wasn't able to get enough work at that time, now it is great and I can only say we pray and God has blessed us above measure, more than we deserve.
paying off bills
BTW we also pay an extra $100 each month on our mortgage. Years ago someone told us to do that and were never able to until now. Yes, I work hard, but we are doing great and even eat out once or twice a wk and sometimes more. This friend in our church also agreed paying the extra $100 a month. I have heard other fincance people on the Christian radio station saying the same thing, so it does make sense. You pay the extra amount on the principal only.
paying bills
x
Same here paying bills - NM
NM
I am not against paying for your child's
but I have no intention of doing that for my own children. There are so many kids out there who have everything handed to them. I believe it will teach my children the value of a dollar and the value of their education if they pay for it themselves or with scholarships and hard work. I do encourage them to keep their grades up and will encourage them to apply for scholarships, grants, etc. I think either parent should have to foot the bill for college. If they want to, great; if not, I don't believe the court system should get involved.
Wow if you & hubs are paying that much
in taxes and didn't qualify for stimulus check (because you make too much?), ya'll must be rakin' it in!! Don't think you deserve much sympathy either, right? I know you we're asking for it, but seems a little harsh to kick someone when they're down...
Paying down debt
It is getting harder to make ends meet because of all the straws in our bank account. I have 17k in CC dept alone. It is with 4 different CC companies. One CC has $200, #2 has about 4K, #3 has about 2K, #4 has 10k. The 10K one has a 15 % APR, the others I believe range from 24% to 29% APR. My biggest monthly payment is my house and I owe only $4700 on it and it has 6.3% APR. I sold some things and am getting $5K and that will be enough to pay off my house. I would love to finally, officialy own this house and get rid of that $350 monthly pmt, but I wonder if I should not pay down on the CC because of the high interest rates. Any opinions. TIA.
Paying Down Debt
I feel you, believe me. First, Bravo to you for facing this. That's the hardest part. I think if you are so close to paying off your house, you wouldn't want to take out yet another loan against it. Additionally, the interest rates aren't that great. What is the total of payments you are making on your credit cards? If you can slap that 5000.00 on your debt first on all of the higher interest ones perhaps paying some of them off. That will free up extra money to put on the rest of your credit cards. Then once the credit cards are paid off, you can then work on the mortgage (I WISH I had your mortgage..). Also we work in an industry where it is easy to pick up extra work---have you thought of that just to get extra money to pay off the debt? That's what I'm trying to do. Things are just so bad right now. Good luck, hope this helps...
Forgot to add - what about them paying
for their part of the cell phone bill as well as insurance on their vehicle?
You are not paying for a thing that does not benefit you, obviously.
x
Remember you are paying him big bucks
My nephew is a mortgage broker and they make good money -- put in a lot of time but that 1 to 3% loan initiation fee can be quite steep. It is not like they are doing a favor for you so speak up. Go above his head ask to talk with a supervisor, anything. Be nice about it but remember you are paying him a lot of money and so he is working for you and so speak up. You don't have to be nasty but tell him your concerns and ask that you speak to his supervisor. Good luck.
Curious as to who is paying for the wedding?
x
You are kidding about paying $2 more an hour??
I find most Americans, regardless of their race, creed, religion, etc., etc. wanting to work. I have never had to worry if I hire the Mexicans here in town to work, show them what and your job is done. I have a lady who cleans (black) and I usually have to make a list and even then she wants to sit down most of the time. Have used all but found get my work done with south of the border folks.
I'm paying for all those wives and kids...
They only claim one wife as a legal wife, so the others they marry are married in the church but not on paper, so they think they are getting by with polygamy. So what happens to all those wives with children? They go to the welfare office, since they are single moms ( no marriage certificate), they are eligible for Medicaid, my taxes to pay for their children, food stamps, on and on. That is fraud and they should be ashamed of themselves, since they know exactly what they are doing... where is their religion in all this? This is scheming.....they call it "bleeding the beast", meaning the government. Of course, they do not care that it is the taxpayer's dollar, because they consider themselves better than the "outside world", since they believe they are the chosen people anyway.
Oops, should have been paying off a debt
/
insurance not paying for meds
Insurance said I had to be on Medicare before they would pay for Celebrex even with rheumatologist asking for exemption.
Plan on paying off my cards too sm
as soon as I get my settlement. Plan to tell them that I refuse to bankroll their bonuses, parties and whatnot anymore and they can put their credit you know where. I didn't get a bailout--all I got was higher interest rates.
See my post above about paying off the credit
Sure, banks need to make a profit just like everyone else. But businesses throughout the whole country have become so money-hungry that they continue to cheat their customers more and more, in the name of making more and more money for themselves. MTSO's cheat us in order to make more profit. Insurance companies cheat us by making us pay more and more, and in turn denying more and more of our healthcare costs. Food companies cheat us by not only charing more for their products, but also by putting less and less in the box or the wrapper. (Cereal: Used to be about 3/4 full, now it's more like 1/2 full. Granola bars: Remember when 1 granola bar was an actual snack? Or even breakfast? Now the wrapper is the same size, but the bar is a mere shadow of its former self.) The banks cheat us by raising the rates or charging for services that used to be free. Mine recently starting nicking my checking account for $35 as 'overdraft protection' when my account became low. Now get this: I never bounced a check. I never wrote checks for more than was in my account. There was always at LEAST $25 in my checking account. But they would decide it was too low, nick me for the $35, and then surprize! My account is then MINUS $10! So what do they do? They charge me again!
I'm considering doing away with the bank entirely, including checking, and only using a pre-paid debit card. Now if there were just a way for our MT paychecks to electronically go into a bank-free debit card, instead of into the bank, then VOILA! Bye-bye, bankie.
quit paying and see if he says something..then you'll know..nm
x
not paying insurance for teens-I feel bad for you.SM..
Kids don't make enough today to do it all - including teen car insurance - and some parents LIKE TO HELP...again, to each his/her own. My children have been working full time for 10 years and I'm still wanting to help them with that car insurance because it's exhorbitant for young people even in their 20s....until 25 actually where I live -
oh well, one thing is we can all AGREE TO DISAGREE - LOL
I've been paying a lump sum for my taxes
and was starting to get scared that I'm doing it wrong. Actually, my husband was doing the taxes, and this year we're separated. I've just been an IC two years and an MT for a little over three. So is it okay to send it all in April? This will be my first year to write off an office space and such. So many other things were going on before that I had no time to really think this all through. Numbers and taxes and math are not my thing! 
I agree! My BP & I have walked out of restaurants without paying (sm)
if the mgr. wouldn't ask the people with a screaming baby or out-of-control toddlers (running around & actually eating off of other people's plates! Gaaack!)to do something about it. At movie theaters, if people bring screamers in with them, we go out to the mgr. and ask for our money back. My mom raised 6 kids and went to church with all of them every Sunday. If anyone (including the infant-du-jour) made any noise, they were removed immediately. Older kids had to sit in the car (with H*-to-pay when we returned home!), and babies/toddlers sat with her outside 'til such time that they calmed down again. And weddings? Forget it! She never subjected any of her friends' weddings to small children or babies. And we were trained, at at APPROPRIATE age and ONE AT A TIME, how to behave in restaurants. We had to use our "indoor voices", keep our napkin in our lap & our elbows off the table, and eat with the correct forks, etc. And in fancy restaurants, we were trained beforehand that we were NOT allowed to even ASK for a hamburger. That alone prevents many restaurant-meltdown scenes!
Good, does that mean I can stop paying taxes? - nm
x
Hey, I'll join you if you're paying ;-)
And I was just stressing over paying $500 for rental car (I'm driving), hotel, and baseball tickets for a rinky-dink 3-day trip 250 miles down the road. Still have to spring for gas money and food, but I'm feeling a little better after reading your post LOL. Of course, I'm not going to Las Vegas...
Well, have fun anyhow!! :-)
They may be citizens and are paying taxes like the rest of us.
What difference does it make?
When did parents stop paying attention?
I'm nearly done raising my kids, and they're good kids. In addition, I've been a boy scout leader for 12 years, so often I'm around a lot of really good kids who have parents who care. Tonight I was helping out a cub scout meeting with a bunch of bright-eyed, energetic cubs. Two of our older boys, 12-year-olds from the boy scout troop were also helping out. At one point, the kids all went outside with the den leader and another parent to do an activity. This was around 7:30 p.m. and it was dark outside. One of the boy scouts came back inside to get me. He wanted to let me know that they had to move the cubbies away from some "bigger" kids outside. Turns out, there were some 9th graders hanging out at the back of the school building where we meet. They were sitting near the playground, smoking and filling an empty 2-liter soda bottle with smoke, making smoke rings. They weren't particularly noisy, but their language was atrocious. Obviously, we didn't want that example near the little ones.
So I walked over and said to them in a calm voice, "Hey folks, I'm bringing some 2nd graders around here, and I'd like for you to move off the property." They just looked at me with an "I-hate-the-world" look, rolled their eyes and said, "Yeah, sure." Of course, there was no movement. I say, "I've asked you nicely once. You move now. You don't get another warning." One of our scout dads started heading over at that point. He's a big man about 300 pounds. These kids, two boys and a girl, started spewing language you wouldn't want a longshoreman to hear. I'm no prude, and I've done less than bright things as a teenager, and I've paid my dues working with some troubled kids. I wasn't shocked by the language, though, I didn't like it at all.
I did, at one point, say to them, "Look, can you do this at home?" The girl's reply was, "Yeah, my parents aren't old."
That one actually made me laugh. I said to her, "Well, if it's ok to do this at home, then that's a good place to be. You can't be here." She started screeching about how adults just don't show respect to her, and I laughed and said, "I'm sorry you feel that way, really sorry. Because that means you don't understand that you are being treated just the way you are asking me to treat you. In fact, I'm being way more patient than I need to be." I know she didn't understand. Nothing was out of bounds with these kids. The other adult with me made a remark to them about how little he thought of their parents because of their behavior. One overly-brave kid said that his parents were fantastic and let him do whatever he wanted. Yeah. That was pretty obvious. He told us we shouldn't be disrespecting his parents. I told him that I would never want to do that. Would he, therefore, please go home, tell his parents what happened and send them back down to me. I'd be there for the next 30 minutes. No one showed of, of course.
What gets me isn't so much the smoking, the lack of concern about the example they set for the little children nearby, or the language. Certainly, all of that was awful. But the big problem was the complete lack of respect they have for anyone else, especially adults. And as they behaved like obnoxious brats, they preached about how they should be treated with respect! I hear this over and over form kids. If I can get them to actually have a decent dialogue, I usually ask the kids to define respect. They generally give me a correct definition, but that's not what they are asking for. What they really mean when they say that adults don't respect them is, "You won't let me do what I want to do."
So when did parents stop teaching kids these basic rules of conduct, and when did parents forget to really teach children about respect for others and respect for themselves? I'd be absolutely sure the world was going to Hades in a handbasket if it weren't for the really wonderful kids I work with each week. "My" boy scouts are great kids!
Unfortunately, the 12-year-old boy scout who called my attention to the loitering kids saw most of the exchange above. But later he came to me and said, "You know what? Now I know why you are constantly on top of us about our language and our behavior at scouts."
"Really? Why's that?"
"Those kids don't even realize that what they were doing was so awful. They think they have a right to argue and yell and curse. They do it all the time at school, so they think it's o.k. If you were to let us do that all the time, we'd think it was o.k., too."
Now there's a kid who will go far! And it was one of my payoff moments in scouts!
Apparently paying my Iowa taxes
Man, they've gone up. Dang it all to heck.
Otherwise, I'll be using the difference by knocking out my small bills in anticipation of paying off our zillions of dollars worth of student loans in about 800 years.
paying bills/wedding expense
My daughter is also getting married in March, if they don't change the date again. And buying me some software/books for work...
How about all you folks having tons of kids? I'm paying for them and your
C-sections and OB costs, as well as all your little offspring's school costs.
Wow, apparently you have not heard of paying it forward. nm
x
My son's insurance stopped paying for Zyrtec
changed recently. I guess it's nice for people that don't have insurance but when a med goes OTC you can't exactly use it as a medical expense on your taxes anymore
Refinancing, nope. We have been paying loads on
the principal and started out with over $220,000 in 2004 and already under 97,000. If we refinanced might get a shyster deal, know who we are with, trust them and do not want any additional burden such as the refinancing charge to apply.
No dead beat if no CS agreed on but not paying court
df
Bless your heart, they were talking about paying on principal
and that is when I talked about paying also. Don't hate. I have been in bad shape before. When I was there, I worked and worked and worked to make my ends meet and now, well what can I say? Again, not good to have hate in your heart.
so, you think we should reward them by paying for their bed, heat, water, food?
nm
You must live in a high pizza delivery paying
area that they get $7-8/hr. Most make minimum, if that, but keep their tips. Oh, add in gas to save you the trip of lugging it home yourself, then yes $2 is insulting.
DH paid off credit card. Now I'm paying him back. No
nm
I just found out that social services will be paying me a visit and I am
freaking out! My estranged husband, on whom I have a restraining order, showed up at my house today, obviously he had been drinking. Long story short, one of my son's friends shows up, one that is not allowed at the house. I immediately sent the teenager away, but my husband proceeds to start raging about how he would run things if he were still living here. I then told him he could leave as well. That I kicked the teenager and I expected him to leave too. He refused and said he would leave if I gave him money because he needs to contribute groceries to his buddy with whom he is staying. He doesn't work and hasn't worked for much of our marriage. I told him if he wanted to help out his buddy, he should get a job. He came into the house, sat down on my couch and refused to leave until I gave him money.
My son called the police to enforce the restraining order. The police show up and while he is in their custody, he tells them that I have 10 to 14 teenagers in my house every day and that he doesn't feel that it is a good environment for our 8yo daughter. He tells there was marijuana in my house.
So now the police are telling me they have to file a report with family services because my house could be a hostile environment and they have to follow up on every complaint. The marijuana episode did happen; however, my daughter and I were not at home. My husband was still living at home at the time and caught my son and a couple of friends smoking it and instead of stopping them immediately and kicking everybody out, I was told that he took a hit off the joint. I was told that by all three kids whom I questioned separately. When I confronted my soon to be ex about this, his explanation was that he didn't take a hit, he put it up to his mouth and nose to smell to see if it really was pot. Still he did not put up fuss, punish our son, or kick anybody. Instead I find out about the pot from the sister of one of my son's girlfriend who told me because she was worried about her sister and she was the one who originally told me my husband took a hit.
Now, because my husband is angry that I have kicked him out and am filing for divorce, he is telling these lies and half truths to the cops and now I have to worry about getting visited from social services. I've been crying all evening and I'm wondering what I should expect. I have to clean my house from top to bottom, make sure this sucker shines and I guess not let my son have any friends over ever again!
I am so upset! I absolutely hate my ex-husband. I live in a rat hole as it because he has refused to work and he has junked up with all the crap he refuses to throw away. The man won't even through away magazines. I have stacks and stacks of magazines and newspapers that every time I've tried to throw out or recycle, he picked them out of the bins and brought them back into the house. Now I'm faced with this mountain of crap that I have deal with immediately before I get visited by the social worker.
I'm sorry to go on and on. I'm just so overwhelmed and stressed and I just want to curl up in a little ball and die. My kids are my life. I don't beat them, I feed them, I clothe them, I play with them, and have fun with them. They are the reason I work, the reason I breathe. The idea of having someone come into my home and question my fitness as a mother makes my physically ill.
You guys, thank you for continually listening to my saga. You guys gave me the strength to kick him out to begin with.
Bill Gates is paying $100,000 million or is it billion? Not easy
a
call back and request an appt sooner. Since you are paying for it, they should have no problem
s
I think she said the father did not want her around
so really she should take that same stance. I think you just cannot sometimes may an enabler understand what they are doing wrong. My deceased husband, I talked to him about his enabling with his daughter and he told me he would do until his last breath and he did. She was a total invalid after that, did not have a clue (at 30 something) how to make her way. Oh well, glad I wasn’t the mother.
You ask about my son's father?
The father came around after the son grown and now lives with him. No money ever from him while my son growing up, not a penny, nothing. I have nothing against the father, just always thought he basically did good to take care of himself but not a father figure at all for the son. He was able to work, chose to live on the streets and finally got too old to be out there and my son and his family took him into their home. I was there but people have to understand what money does to people, especially if a lot of money, thousands and thousands. My son was upset about my inheritance and that is what happened. It is sad but not my fault he would choose the love of money over his mother. Wish him well.
your father
This is a touchy subject. Yes, it sounds a little like he may be trying to "take the easy way out" but really, what he is doing is self degradating and really desperate. I believe he needs help. Of course, he is not going to see it or admit it himself. That's WHY he needs help. He has threatened to take his life and spoken of wanting to die. I think you should call 911 or see if your town has a crisis team and tell them that he has said he is going to kill himself. Have him taken by ambulance or let the crisis intervention team figure out the transportation. Once he is at the hospital professionals will evaluate him and decide whether or not he needs to be committed against his will or long term treatment. They will give him counseling and even point him in the direction of how to start managing life again. The worse that could happen is that they say hes fine and send him home (which they will not do without at least providing him with information for outpatient treatment and other local agencies that can help him).
However, how will you feel if, God forbid, he does hurt or kill himself while you thought he wass just bluffing?
And even if it doesnt go that far...he will continue to harass you and your mom.
He needs help of some kind and as his daughter I think you should find a way to help him.
How do you know her father was
there for her? You are assuming that. As far as writing him off, it might be the best thing for her. Toxic people are very dangerous. Obviously you had a story book childhood and until you go through something like that, it is impossible to understand. Because it is a parent, it does not mean you have to put up with emotional and mental abuse.
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