I'm not self-absorbed at all

Posted By: chopped liver on 2006-05-15
In Reply to: I think you sound self absorbed to feel you deserve gifts. Being a mother is selfless. nm - R

in fact, in this family I am at the bottom of the totem pole, always have been, and it's fine with me. I give my family everything. I don't expect gifts. I expect acknowledgement on the one stupid day a year that "they" set aside for me to get it. I'm sorry if that sounds self-absorbed. I work 7 days a week. I do all the cooking. I do all the laundry. I do all the cleaning. I babysit my grandson 5-6 days a week. I tell my kids I love them everyday. When my son walks up to me and wants to talk, I stop what I'm doing and I talk. My oldest daughter has brought me such heartache for years, has said things to me that you wouldn't believe and that I could never post here, and yet I still scrape the little extra grocery money I have to help her pay the debts she has run up. I don't go out. I don't spend money on myself. I love being a mom and I love my family. What is wrong with expecting a simple "Happy Mother's Day"....without it being followed by "I didn't get you anything but I can get you a card"...when the call comes at 8 o'clock that night...and when that call was basically to let me know I needed to pick up the baby the next morning.

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My mother's day - chopped liver
- Mothers day - sme
- I think it is enough if you kids at least acknowledge the day - sm - Laura E.
- To chopped liver, read all of the thread, - mthanded
- I think you have to define Mother's Day for yourself... - Jillian
- I didn't have a great one either. - I am sorry!!
- Both of my children told me Happy Mother's - Wannie
- Mother's Day - MTqueenB
  - Kind of ashamed to admit I threw daughter's card away - chopped liver
    - I think that grandparents who babysit for free are just making their kids dependent on them - and they seldom appreciate it, they grow to expect
- i know that hurts but here are a few thoughts.... - kat
- Mother's Day is not a Hallmark holiday (sm) - chopped liver
  - Yep, but MT week IS. and i bet people complain if they arent recognized. :( - nm
- Lucky Ones - IC
  - I had a fabulous weekend starting with dinner on Friday night..sm - Very lucky also
  - I also know how you feel! sm - Deb
- I'd give the kids the same treatment on their birthday....sm - Just me
  - That's unfair. Everyone has a B-Day, but Mother's Day is made up. Ditto for Valentine's Day - R
- I would be hurt too (sm) - anony
- Great M's Day -- no kids, no husband (sm) - adh
- i know how you feel - tc
- Yep - I agree - your kids should know better... - Maybe you didn't push enough guilt over time..
  - I think you sound self absorbed to feel you deserve gifts. Being a mother is selfless. nm - R
    - don't attack her re self absorbed....sm - kids understand DEALS AND CONTRACTS
    - I'm not self-absorbed at all - chopped liver
      - You say you're at the bottom of the totem pole - QA
        Dr. Phil??? Grolier book publishers....sm - put those books out 25+ years ago.....
        You are right. Thank you. - chopped liver
        BTW, just FYI, my kids are a tad older...sm - put those books out 25+ years ago.....
        Might I add that I speak from the heart, - QA
  - oops should've have read "older children"...n/m - Maybe you didn't push enough guilt over time..
- I don't celebrate Hallmark holidays. If they forget...(nt) - ...your birthday then you should complain.
  - Glad I'm not the only anti-Hallmark holiday (sm) - adh
  - They don't acknowledge that either - chopped liver
    - Again, if you make yourself a slave to them they will never respect you. - Tell her to pay for a babysitter
    - No, YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM.....sm - Maybe you didn't push enough guilt over time..
- What I'm doing is making sure that come Fathers Day, I forget to get him something! sm - Anudder mudder
  - You show people how to treat you. We don't - me
    - I make a big deal out of them too and still dont get squat. sm - nm
- Me too.... - Disgruntled mother...
  - They're ignorant - some hubbies...sm - Maybe you didn't push enough guilt over time..
- I feel for you, your kids should know better. sm - ml
  - EXACTLY !!!!! GMTA.......sm - Maybe you didn't push enough guilt over time..

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don't attack her re self absorbed....sm
From a very early age, all kids understand deals and contracts. Mom wants something done....kids want things - it becomes a deal. I've had 150% success with this understanding over 25 years. Being a mom may be a selfless situation, but success CAN be gleaned with deals and contracts.

It's called being an inconsiderate self-absorbed idiot
they don't realize how irritating it is for someone to have to listen to that crap. They just don't care.

I think you sound self absorbed to feel you deserve gifts. Being a mother is selfless. nm
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