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You are not guilty!!!!

Posted By: Ohio MT on 2005-08-15
In Reply to: I definitely want it to stop - uncomfortable and need advice

Guys like your stepdad are master manipulators and they know exactly who to target.  They choose victims who they believe will not tell, who will suffer in silence rather than upset the family.  You are guilty of nothing.  He is.  Is there any group in your area you can talk to, or a counselor who specializes in sexual abuse who you can talk to?  This guy will do everything he can to make you feel crazy and make you feel like you’re wrong, he’s right. 


 


Sexual abuse is not just intercourse.  It’s touching, rubbing against someone, exposing himself, making very inappropriate comments.  So whether or not he can still get it up doesn’t matter...it’s still sexual abuse and you are the victim, not the perpetrator. 




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Guilty of What? sm
Carrying out her wishes?  The last phrase on her tombstone says "I kept my promise"  Yeah he is guilty of carrying out her last wishes.  This needs to be on political board.  I was not very active in politics until this fiasco occurred.  When the leader of a free world felt he was a king and called an emergency session of congress to keep a brain-dead woman alive, and it happens everyday, everyday, the king had to make it a political issue for the right.  This needs to be taken to the political board. This was just a political move, and right wingers will never see through that.  He does not care about a brain-dead woman, look how many, many, 1,000s are dead in Iraq for oil.
What's he guilty of?
I can't believe how many gullible people are out there who have been manipulated by Terri's "poor, poor pitiful me" manipulative tactics.

I guess there are a lot of dumb people out there.
Guilty

I do it too.    I actually look forward to working because I can "escape" from the real world for awhile. 


Too bad it doesn't happen every single day.  :)


Guilty.
I gave up drugs and alcohol already, so I'll allow myself my coffee and cigarettes.

However, I have no problem with abstaining/stepping outside when it comes to folks who'd rather I don't do it around them.
Feeling guilty
Believe it or not your condition is more common than you might think.  However, it is very serious.  If you do not feel comfortable talking to someone you know then I suggest you speak with someone like a doctor, crisis center or even a local church pastor.  Pastors have a lot of connections in the community and can get you the help you need, most times free.  I wish you well and please do not think your crazy.  Many people deal with stress in very different ways, some are more extreme than others. There is help out there! God Bless.
About feeling guilty

Speaking of feeling guilty, if I hit the lottery tomorrow, I'm going to feel a little guilty that I hit it instead of the poor guy who's worked for minimum wage all of his life, but does that mean I'm going to refuse to accept the prize or give part of it back to the state in which I won it?  I don't think so! 


I understand what you're saying, and I agree too that she must do what she feels is right.  If it were me, though, I'd charge my normal rate, and if the client came back to me with a "WHOA!!", then I might negotiate a "little something" out, but remember .... whether an MT types everything out by hand or does a few clicks and "viola" (sp), she still has to meet turnaround time, which means you'll find her sitting at her desk day in and day out.  I personally would not transcribe at substandard line rates just because doctors choose to work smart and use macros because for me to do so would mean I'm not working smart.  JMO.  


Guilty about working sm
Hi, My heart goes out to you. The only way my children could be offered a college education was if I worked as well as my husband. We were both working long hours and I know my 8-YO suffered. I worked outside of the home and in transcription. I did everything I could to make up for it during my time off, taking him everywhere I could when I could sneak in a few hours. Don't you know that I'd make plans and have to work (so many times) to keep the account and disappointed him as well. There was one time I had planned a week at the beach for him and the account came in the day I was leaving. I explained my situation to them and asked them to please work around it. They did, but others dropped me like a hot potato. This is a terrible profession for a mom. All you can do is keep telling him how much you love him and you are doing it for him to have a better life some day in the future. Not only was my son able to attend college, but now teaches there. It was not easy. You have to explain, explain that you "need" to work and you're not being selfish. It's a tough enough job (this transcription) and an unappreciated profession IMHO (in my humble opinion). Love him, hug him and try to explain. God bless you for trying. I know how you feel. By the way, you do gain speed after learning an account and it becomes much easier. I have had some awful dictators who no one else could understand, but they "grew" on me and I got much faster and was more in demand than I ever expected. Ask God for help, even if you don't think He has time to answer. If your heart is in the right place, you will be rewarded. Explain that no one can get a decent job today without a degree and you're performing a labor of love for his benefit. Good luck to you and try to enjoy the holiday. I understand what you're going through.Don't give up and things will get better. Don't feel guilty, at least you're trying and you're not lazy.
To: Feeling guilty? From below. SM

Maybe something is escaping me and I don't want to be rude to anybody. I'm trying to understand.


You are an employee who signed an 8-4:30 contract, right? Are the people you are mad about employees, or did your MTSO hire additional IC folks? If she/they did, then that's who you should take issue with.


If these are other scheduled employees who are doing this, you have a choice. You can either do what they do, tattle on them (I probably would), or work elsewhere.


If they are extra IC help, what can you do? Can you make them feel bad about team spirit? I don't think so. Do you think McDonald's feels team spirit with Burger King? An IC is a business owner, in competition with others.


Are the other people employees?


If one is found guilty of it, yes I do. I cannot help
Everyone always has a story and a reason and an excuse as to why they committed their crime.

No empathy from me on it. I expect the law to provide protection for myself and other law-abiding, careful US citizens through many avenues and having a legal record is one of them.

It is a testament to one's decisions, their choices, their consideration for fairness, equality, safety and respect of this country and other fellow citizens.

I back up harsh punishment 100%. A felony on the record speaks for itself.


I'm guilty of leaning (sm)
in towards the monitor to hear more clearly. I don't even know what that means. It's just something I've done for 12 years. ((The monitor is not the doctor. The monitor is not talking to me.)) ;)
pled guilty
I always change it to read entered a plea of guilty or a guilty plea.
Well, I'm probably guilty of giving

more negative than positive feedback not because I don't appreciate good work but just because things are so busy, I only take the time to point out something if the client points it out to me or if i happen to see something that really is wrong.  I try to be fair and not nitpicky and only bring something negative up if it really needs to be addressed.


Honestly, I probably don't make it that obvious when I am thinking an IC anymore, I'll just use them less and someone reliable more.  A lot depends on their attitude and willingness to work on problems.  If someone asks me, though, I will always be honest with them about how I think they are doing.  You should talk to your MTSO and just tell her you're wondering how you are doing, whether there's anything she wants you do to do differently, etc. 


 


don't let her make you feel guilty
Kids these days think they are entitled to everything handed to them.  So and so has this or that and lot's of kids brag and lie.  Just stick to your guns.  Mine used to tell me that things had changed since I was a teen but not really, i bought my flinstone mobile from my brother for 50 bucks...holes in the floorboards and all.
Innocent until proven guilty .. except on the web
And apparently if you don't provide a link, that is an open invitatio to be doubted and called a liar? Even without a link, I am perfectly capable of looking into it for myself and I try never to rush to judgment without having all the facts first. It only proves to make me look like a bitter jerk otherwise.
So we are guilty until proven innocent?
And who decides what "bad" things are?  The definition of "bad" can change at any moment.  Voicing your opinion on a chat forum could one day be considered "bad."  Anything could.
I am guilty of clutter though I start out need and -sm
very organized-- though piles are growing in my bedroom right now, total mess. My husband wants a home like those in Good Housekeeping, etc. which will never happen here until the kids are gone, the animals are gone (never), he gets rid of all his antique TVs and radios (about 30-40) (at least 1 -or more- in every room, only 4 rooms are spared--kids BR (2), and the 2 bathrooms)--plus garage is filled with them too. We do a unclutter clean about every 6-8 weeks though it returns fast. Hard to unclutter though with so much space taken up by the TVs--some of which are covered with blankets so that looks real good. But seriously I need to unclutter this house especially my desk area and our BR--messiest room in the house! So I am messy I guess, and he is too though we both want it clean!
I'm guilty of balaning my checkbook sm
or paying bills online. Not a fun distraction but not knowing my checkbook balance is sometimes a bigger distraction. I keep my bills in front of me for motivation and try to keep my book balanced once or twice a week. It really doesn't take me that long.
Agree. No wonder you feel guilty.
x
Guilty as charged! It is very difficult.

My biggest and best suggestions are to type a specialty that interests you and try to keep up with the report.  In other words make it a challenge to diagnose and treat the patient before you're through with the report.  I use an online timer set for 45 minutes.  I'm not allowed to do anything but type during those 45 minutes.  If I'm feeling a compulsion to research something that I found while checking on a word, I write it down and give myself 5-10 minutes between 45 minute sessions to do exactly that.  I also take medication (adderall) without it I would be completely lost.  I also have to make myself use the interest as little as possible.....too many shiny things to take my attention away.  The good thing is that usually ADD people are exceptionally bright and innovative, so I can accurately produce in 4 distracted hours what most can produce in 6-8 diligently working.  However, can you imagine what your line count would be like if you stuck to it the whole time??


So, to summarize:


1.  Try to find an MT job that interests you.


2.  Use a timer to limit your distractions.


3.  Take medication.


4.  Avoid the internet for reseach if at all possible. 


Well, I am guilty of that. I for one could not picture my hubby transcribing...
he can't even type. Some of us were brought up that a "real man" works as a "laborer" or "executive", not a MT. That was always a woman's job - kinda like administrative assistants category.

Usually, if a man has "nice hands" - meaning not rough, nails manicured, soft hands, he is either a "suit man" or "gay". Can you imagine!
Feeling too guilty to work after son breaks down.
My son is 9 years old and I love him very much.  The very reason I started doing transcription was to be home with him.  Where we live we have no family nearby so it is just me, my husband and my son.  I recently lost the account I had been on for 6 years and was moved to a new account that is 3 times bigger with 3 times more doctors and all new way of doing transcription.  Needless to say, this has slowed me down work wise a lot.  I am slowly learning the new account but now I just don't have the get up and go to work.  My son just broke down in tears before going to bed, telling me he feels like all I do is work anymore and don't have time for him.  The sad part is that I feel the same way but I am having to work more hours to keep full time on new account.  I love my son more than anything.  He is my life.  I really need to find a better balance between work and home but this seems impossible.  All I can do now is sit and cry myself, knowing my son feels this sad and upset.  If anyone has had similar situation and has any advice, I'll take it.
Don't you feel guilty for being a white Christian?
Geez, you're responsible for everything that's wrong with this country - don't you know that?

That's what the sentiment in this country is anyway. You're only allowed to diss someone's culture, language, religion, etc. if they are of European Caucasian origin.

We have nothing to feel guilty about. If other cultures are jealous or resentful of us, that's their issue to deal with. We had nothing to do with their feelings of inadequacy for whatever reason they may have them.

I'm sick of having to coddle minorities who clearly hate us anyway.

So condescending and so insulting.
GUILTY!!! Im a holy roller but I will definitely be eating too!!!!!
and what he did for all of US
The surgery center personnel are just as guilty, IMO. sm
Doctors are not untouchable. Any nurse or tech or secretary who has direct knowledge of a doctor using illegal substances and going into surgery is contributing to the problem.
I can't stand it when the Fox News ticker says so and so "pleaded guilty"
It should be so and so "pled guilty" shouldn't it?!?!  That drives me nuts everytime I see it.  I've thought about emailing them about it a couple of times.  LOL
Oh please, somebody tried to make me feel guilty for leaving a horrible job using this same line.
How much $$ it cost to train ME.  Like I should feel sorry for the company who basically misled me every step of the way regarding hiring, training, accounts, etc., etc. The job was a horrible fit, and I stayed way longer out of guilt. Not worth it! Conditions are deplorable enough for the MTs right now - we don't need to now assume responsibility for how much or how little a company spends to train us. PLEASE!! 
Ummmm...whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty? Sheesh!
Lawsuits in America mean something pretrial? What about the chick the other day in a monsoon who blamed her landscaper for snapping tree trunks! Yep, you keep doing your self-righteous dance. I'll keep working and making $$$!
Like all other things in this world, they're guilty until proven innocent.
I think that totally stinks! Of course, you're only his mom and certainly do not know everything he does, right.
what? I used to make .02/line off my subcontractors work and felt guilty.SM
The MTSO is making .07 line off your work? I know you did not say how much you make, but the MTSO must be charging the client a high rate. Like I said, I had several subcontractors helping me as an IC for local clients in the past, and made .02/line on their work (I am the one who printed and returned the work). You deserve better and are selling yourself much too short! P.S. - Unfortunately this is what is happening to this industry, and it's called greed.
Yes, a year or so ago. Got picked. Child molester case/Guilty! nm
x
We don't hold people who are guilty long enough as evident in the Idaho case where the sexual

OFFENDER (a very real proven criminal) was given freedom to kidnap, molest and kill one of two children.  Then again we have that society reject who TOLD the police he was a sexual offender and would do it again.  He was free to kill the little girl in Florida.  Now you hear our wonderful system cannot use his confession because he did not have a lawyer present.  I see why the Arubans may think we are the pot calling the kettle black. 


As for Mrs. Twitty, she needs to appoint a spokesperson before she does any more damage.  I don't care how emotional she feels, she really is clueless about what is going on internally in the investigation and she needs to realize this and quit commenting.


 


I never said you shouldn't have kids! Feeling guilty? I asked WHY you had kids.
You clearly stated in your post that you ship the kids off to camp all day, and they're TIRED AT NIGHT!!  You know exactly what you said.  You said it as a PERK - AS IN GREAT! They're gone all day, it wears them out, and so I shovel dinner in their mouths and off to bed!  You can try to paint it any way you want, but YOU SAID IT.  Again, I only hope your kids never hear you speak that way or write that way. Shame on you.  Why have kids at all?  Just another parent who has them, gets rid of them for day AND night, BRAGS ABOUT IT, and then calls ME wicked!  Give me a break!  Camp is fine - its WHAT YOU SAID AND YOU KNOW IT.  Your own words showed your heart. Period.